And now exciting news from the Blob's favorite kinda-sorta sporting event, the National Spellin' Bee (OK, so it's "Spelling", but the Blob likes "Spellin'" better): The odds-on favorite did not lose, tie with eight other people or finish second the way he did last year.
No, this time 13-year-old Faizan Zaki from Allen, Texas, stuck the landing, taking home the big trophy that so narrowly eluded him in 2024. He sealed the deal by correctly spelling "eclaircissement", which the Blob as usual claims is a totally made-up word the National Spellin' Bee people threw in there just to narrow the field.
"Hey, I know!" I can hear them saying. "Let's stick a bunch of extra letters on the end of 'eclair.' That's sure to throw the little goobers off."
Same goes for "commelina," which Faizan botched in a fit of overconfidence after the other two finalists had missed their words. That prolonged the Bee a couple more words before Faizan finally nailed "eclairwhatever."
Commelina. I mean, come on, people. If you're gonna make up words, at least don't have them sound like Disney characters.
If I'm running the show, that would never happen. No, I'd throw in a few Klingon words, like "bat'leth" or "gagh." Or some Chaucerian English, like "unnethe" or "Ynogh." Or maybe a couple of words with 12 consonants, one vowel and a random parentheses or two.
Then, in the final round, I'd hit them with the biggie: "cannolipar'laszmenta'arianism."
Which I'll decide means "The Klingon study of the ethical dilemma of leaving the gun and taking the cannoli."
That'll learn the little goobers.
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