Shenanigans!

 Those endlessly suspicious humans known in these parts as the Grassy Knoll Brigade have sworn there was something fishy about the NBA draft lottery for nearly 40 years, or since the infamous Bent Corner Conspiracy. So don't be surprised if they get all revved up again after what happened last night.

("Wait, what is the Bent Corner Conspiracy, Mr. Blob?" you're saying now.)

(Well, it happened in 1985, the year of the first NBA draft lottery, and the New York Knicks won the No. 1 pick. Which meant they won Patrick Ewing. Seems the envelope containing the Knicks bid either did or didn't have a bent corner -- no one will ever know for sure -- which got the Grassy Knoll Brigade claiming the whole deal was rigged because the bent corner signaled the guy picking the envelopes which one to pick. That's the skinny, anyway.)

Now where was I?

Oh, yeah. Last night's draft lottery.

Which was won by the Dallas Mavericks, who wound up with the No. 1 pick even though they had a 1.8 percent chance of that happening. To the Grassy Knoll Brigade, this undoubtedly meant the fish market was open again -- and not only that, it was karma cruelly turned on its head.

After all, why would the Mavs be rewarded with (presumably) Cooper Flagg after they traded away the face of their franchise, Luka Doncic, for Anthony "The Doctor Will See You Now" Davis, the oft-injured Lakers big man? How could the basketball gods be so such practical jokers?

("Hey, ya'll! Watch this!" you imagine the gods saying as the Mavs envelope came out.)

Yet there was Mavericks CEO Rick Welts, holding the No. 1 envelope and beaming like ... I don't know, a proud CEO or something. Said he couldn't wait to get back to Dallas. Said this was a reward for the Mavericks fan base, whose "depth of emotion and connection" continues to amaze him.

Of course, this was a spin-cycle way of glossing over the fact that most of the emotion and connection since the Luka deal has involved the  fan base saying "Connect this!" to the Mavs front-office. But CEOs gonna spin, especially on joyous occasions like last night.

And it wasn't as if the Mavs were the only beneficiaries of lottery shenanigans (or not). Drawing the second pick in the upcoming draft were the San Antonio Spurs, another eyebrow-raiser for the Grassy Knoll Brigade. The Spurs, remember, won Victor Wembanyama two years ago, and Wemby went on to win last season's Rookie-of-the-Year honors. Then, last year, they got Stephon Castle, and he went on to win this season's Rookie-of-the-Year.

So back-to-back ROY picks, and now they get the No. 2 pick?

"Oh, come ON!" the GKB is undoubtedly spluttering.

Gotta be another bent corner somewhere. Gotta be.