Taking their ball ...

 ... and, OK, so Michigan is not going to go home. Speaking metaphorically.

But now, as a former Michigan football player decides whether or not to issue a restraining order on behalf of Michigan football (gee, wonder how THAT will come out), word comes down that the University of Michigan board of regents actually discussed leaving the Big Ten Conference this week. In other words, yes, taking their ball and going home.

Just yesterday, you'll remember ("We will?" you're saying now), the Blob semi-facetiously speculated on whether or not that would be one of the options the poor butt-hurt Spyverines would consider. But for goodness sake, I didn't think they'd actually talk about doing it.

Turns out I was wrong. As usual.

Turns out they did talk about it, which of course gets the Blob's famously overactive imagination revving its engine. I mean, just think what the conversation among the regents might have been like ...

(The scene: A boardroom at the University of Michigan. Distinguished-looking men and women are sitting around a table. They're talking about how to respond to the Big Ten catching Jim Harbaugh and the football team cheating, er, "allegedly" cheating)

REGENT No. 1 (pounding the table):Dammit! We almost pulled it off!

REGENT No. 2 (pointedly): Pulled what off?

REGENT 1: Oh, yeah. Forgot. "Allegedly" pulled it off. (Makes air quotes)

But, dammit! How dare the Big Ten? We got Penn State coming up! How come they didn't hem and haw and take forever to hand down a decision like usual?

REGENT No. 3: Yeah! What about due process?

REGENT 1: Due WHAT?

REGENT 3: Due process. You know, that's when a ruling body hems and haws and takes forever to hand down a decision.

REGENT 1: Oh. Right. Anyway, who does Tony Petitti or Tony Soprano or whoever think he is? We're f****** Big Ten royalty, dammit! Why, what would they do without us? We gave 'em Bo and Lloyd Carr and Tom Harmon and Desmond Howard and Charles Woodson, for God's sake! And Gerald Ford! What about Gerald Ford?

REGENT 4: That's right, by God! They can't treat us this way! Maybe we should just leave the conference! That'd show 'em!

(Silence for a moment as everyone thinks this over)

REGENT 2 : But where would we go? There's only like three major conferences left. 

REGENT 4: Well ... there's really only one choice, when you get right down to it. It's the SEC, of course.

REGENT 1: The SEC? Hmmm. Hey, might not be a bad fit.

I mean, they pull all kinds of shady s*** down there. Remember Hugh Freeze at Ole Miss? Jeremy Pruitt and all the recruiting crap he did at Tennessee?  Hell, I bet Saban and Kirby Smart and them are up to all kinds of shenanigans. They're just too smart to get caught.

REGENT 4: That's right, dammit! Harbaugh would fit right in! 

(All the other regents just stare at him)

I mean, "allegedly" fit right in. (Makes air quotes)