Game misconduct

Sometimes it's like watching a car crash in slow motion, this National Hockey League. You know Gary Bettman 'n' them are gonna drive into that tree, but it's too late to shout "Hey, dummy, don't drive into that tree!"

Case in point: The other night in Minnesota.

Where, on Native American Heritage Night -- Native American Heritage Night -- Minnesota Wild goalie Marc-Andre Fleury had a custom mask all set to go to honor his wife, who is Native American. The mask was created by Cole Redhorse Taylor, a Minnesota native and Mdewakanton Dakota, and included the names of Fleury's children and a quote from his father.

The NHL said nyet.

In fact, the NHL said he couldn't even wear it in warmups without incurring a fine. On (and we can't say this too many times) Native American Heritage Night.

You there, in the back.

"Question, Mr. Blob. Is the NHL just stupid or what?" 

Well, I think we can eliminate the "or what."

I mean, seriously, we're talking about a league with the Chicago Blackhawks, whose unis are adorned with the head of a Native American. And the NHL lets them wear those unis every night. 

But Fleury can't wear a mask (even in warmups!) honoring Native American heritage on the night specifically designed for that purpose?

Stupid may not be a strong enough word.

Now, I have no idea what the league's rationale for this was, and I really don't care. Any explanation it has would be, well, stupid. And I speak from experience here.

See, I'm old enough to remember when Johnny Unitas died, and his lineal descendant, Peyton Manning, wanted to honor his memory by wearing the black high-top cleats Unitas made famous. Nice gesture, right?

Nah. The geniuses of what was then Paul Tagliabue's NFL said nyet. 

They even threatened Manning with a choke-a-horse fine, just as the NHL threatened Fleury. Part of this is because the NFL is the most stick-up-its-ass organization in professional sports, with its Fashion Nazis forever on high alert for an untucked jersey or a non-compliant sock. But you're gonna love the rest of the league's reasoning.

It's because the League had decreed only the Baltimore Ravens could wear a commemorative Unitas patch that Sunday.

The Ravens, who used to be the Cleveland Browns. The Ravens, whose record book is devoid of the name John Unitas, for the excellent reason that John Unitas never played a down for the Ravens -- or for the Cleveland Browns. for that matter.

He played for the Baltimore Colts.

Who did not stop being the Colts when they moved to Indianapolis.

And whose record book, therefore, has John Unitas' name written all over it.

Made you just want to grab your head and scream. It really did.

All these years later, you want to do it again, on behalf of Marc-Andre Fleury. Like Peyton Manning, he thought about wearing the mask anyway. But he was told he couldn't by the Wild, because the Wild had itself been threatened twice with its own fine if Fleury wore the mask.

I don't know about you. But how awesome would it have been had the Wild told the league, "Go ahead, fine us, then", and directed Fleury to wear the mask anyway?

Or at least had the evening's referee slap the NHL with a game misconduct?