Fisti-nuts

There were a couple of fights in the NBA last night, although one of them involved Draymond Green, so I'm not sure how newsworthy that is. Putting Rudy Gobert in a headlock is just another Tuesday for Draymond, after all. Especially when it actually happens on a Tuesday.

Anyway, Draymond is likely headed for another suspension, but at least he has a viable defense this time. Maybe the best defense he's ever had.

He can just say he was emulating our distinguished elected officials.

That's because in Washington D.C. yesterday, our distinguished elected officials were engaging in some distinguished 12-year-old boy behavior. During a committee hearing, Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-Cementhead) challenged a witness to a fistfight. Meanwhile, in a Capitol corridor, former House speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Laimbeer) may or may not have nailed a fellow Republican with a cheap-shot elbow to the kidneys.

After which the fellow Republican, Tim Burchett, raced after McCarthy and yelled mean things at him (the word "chickensh*t' was heard). Which nearly provoked another fistfight.

All together now: Went to the Capitol yesterday and a hockey game broke out ...

Hey. I get it. Hardly anyone in Congress is in possession of his or her right mind anymore, the Rs especially (though not exclusively). Marjorie Taylor Green, that loon, is trying to impeach everyone but the second-floor janitor, and even he's on shaky ground. The rest of 'em are deep into Biden Derangement Syndrome or Transgender Derangement Syndrome or some other Derangement Syndrome.

I also know my history, and so I can tell you that R-Cementhead and R-Laimbeer are not a recent phenomenon. Congress critters have been behaving like 12-year-old boys forever; during the 1830s, '40s and '50s, as the debate over slavery became increasingly vicious, there were fistfights in the chambers and duel challenges issued and various lesser brawls.

And who can forget the most outrageous of these, Preston Brooks of South Carolina beating Charles Sumner of Massachusetts nearly to death with his trusty (and lethal) cane?

Far as I can tell, though, all of the violence was in-house, like McCarthy-Burchett. I can't recall a time when a congressional committee member challenged a witness to throw down. 

"Well, let's go right now!" Mullin said, or words to that effect, rising from his seat to march down and pummel Teamsters boss Sean O'Brien.

At which point committee chairman Bernie Sanders -- apparently the only grownup in the room, and using his best teacher's voice -- barked "You're a United States senator!" and told Mullin to sit his ass down.

Bernie channeling Mills Lane, the legendary boxing referee. Best moment of the day.

As for R-Cementhead, R-Laimbeer and the rest of the fisti-nuts ... 

Well. You'd hope human beings would have become more civilized in the 170 or so years since Bully Brooks, but apparently not. Apparently we're just as dim-witted as ever.

In which case, I think NBA commish Adam Silver should exceed his authority and suspend 'em. Serve 'em right.