Mission creep

 Today is Black Friday, and you know what that means, Blobophiles. 

"Fistfights over 80-inch TVs at Walmart?" you're saying.

Uhhh ... no.

"Road rage in the parking lot at the mall?" 

Nope.

"Turkey sandwiches in front of the tube while watching the En Eff Ell?" 

Well ... regrettably, yes.

I say "regrettably" because the NFL has decided three games on Thanksgiving Day and then a full Sunday slate of games isn't enough. Aw, HELL, no. Today, for the first time, we'll get a Black Friday game. 

Dolphins vs. Jets. 3 p.m. Grab another sammich and settle in, America!

Or, not.

Consider me a not.

I'll be a "not" because I'm that cranky old guy you've heard about, the one who doesn't like kids on his lawn or the NFL's insidious, endless mission creep. In the cranky old guy's universe, the day after Thanksgiving should be reserved for college football. The NFL should keep its greedy, Bet MGM mitts off it. Is nothing sacred in Roger Goodell's empire?

"Is that a serious question?" you're asking now.

No, I suppose not. The NFL proved that 60 years ago, when Pete Rozelle wouldn't even let the league take a Sunday off two days after a U.S. president was assassinated. After that came Monday nights and Sunday nights and Thursday nights and Saturdays in December, and that epic playoff game on Christmas Day in 1971, when the Dolphins beat the Chiefs 27-24 in two overtimes in the longest game in NFL history.

Did I watch it? You're damn right I watched it.

But I won't watch Dolphins-Jets today. Consider it a symbolic if pathetic blow for propriety.

Instead, I'll be watching the Oregon-Oregon State rivalry game, and maybe one of the other 12 college football games on the slate today. Every God-fearing true American should follow my lead. 

But of course you won't.

Of course, at 3 p.m., with a turkey sandwich in your hand, you'll be watching Tua vs. Richard Todd or Ken O'Brien or whoever the Jets throw out there at quarterback. 

Heathen, I say. Heathen, the lot of you.