When L is really a W

 I want to be Daniel Snyder when I grow up.

No, not a creepy, money-grubbing crud who sued sick old ladies over season tickets, moved money around like a carnival huckster and clung stubbornly to a racial slur of a nickname. And who oversaw an organization full of creepy guys like himself -- an organization that used to pimp out its own cheerleaders, and that treated its women employees the way men do who likely think it's A-OK to call women "skirts."

I don’t want to be that guy.

I want to be the Daniel Snyder who just got run out of the NASH-unal FOOT-ball League and still won.

You might think it's a terrible thing to lose an NFL franchise, but in a world where money's how you keep score, Snyder's scoreboard reads something like Snyder 48, All Those Other Chumps 0. He's laughing all the way to his yacht in the Mediterranean, Dan-O is. 

This is because, for "losing" his franchise, Snyder got a record $6 billion. That's the reported price for which Snyder and his wife Tanya sold the Washington Commanders to a consortium headed by Philadelphia 76ers co-owner Josh Harris and including NBA Hall of Famer Magic Johnson.

Which means Snyder walks away with even more eff-you money than he had before. And all for being one of the worst NFL owners in recent memory.

Because, see, even without the rampant culture of misogyny that Snyder oversaw for so long, the Commanders were a dump site on the field, too. Both literally and figuratively.

Literally, in the sense that the Commnders home digs, FedEx Field, became a dump on Snyder's watch.

Figuratively, because in the 24 seasons Snyder owned the team, the Commanders (nee Racial Slurs) made the playoffs six times. They had three double-digit win seasons, none in the last ten years. They never made a Super Bowl, never reached a conference championship game, went through 27 starting quarterbacks -- that's more than one a year to you and me, kids! -- and 10 head coaches.

For that level of epic failure, Daniel and Tanya Snyder walk away $6 billion richer.

Accountability?

Pffft. That's for the little people.