Today in legislative wish lists

 Some days I wish I were a lawmaker. 

Of course, some days I wish I were an Avenger or a starship captain or an NBA shooting guard, too. Or maybe Mario Andretti, because who wouldn't want to be Mario Andretti?

Anyway, I'm reading on Deadspin about the Oakland Athletics buying 49 acres of land adjacent to the Strip in Las Vegas, and how it seems to presage the A's abandoning Oakland for Vegas the way every major sport seems to be doing. This is because Oakland is Oakland and Vegas is Vegas, and it would be a lot easier in Vegas for the A's owners who want a new stadium to nick the taxpayers for a good chunk of it.

Oakland's been resisting that, as well it should. It doesn't have the money nor the tax base to subsidize a playground for a bunch of rich dudes, so the rich dudes are apparently ready to bail.

I wish I were a lawmaker so I could pass legislation that makes it illegal for Rich Dude  to use a dime of taxpayer money to finance his new stadium/ballpark/arena. You want it, you pay for it, because you've got the dough and you're the one who's going to see most of the benefit.

Know why else I wish I were a lawmaker?

So I could pass legislation that would make it illegal to pick on transgender athletes, because there are only a handful anyway. This would include no forced genital inspections, no interference in theirs and their parents' medical decisions, no banning their participation so long as they adhere to certain guidelines for testosterone levels, which some athletic organizations already have.

I don't like bullies or hysterics. Never have. And there are plenty of both right now in the anti-transgender movement.

I wish I were a lawmaker so I could mandate that Aaron Rodgers A) sign with the Jets B) sign with the 49ers or C) just retire. I'm tired of him. America's tired of him. Go away.

Same with Draymond Green, come to think of it. Though he kinda got screwed on this latest deal.

I wish I were a lawmaker so I could levy a tax on any baseball owner who sits on his duff and collects his TV cut while his team finishes last every year because he's too cheap to pay his star player(s). You know who you are, Bob Nutting.

I wish I were a lawmaker so I could ban obnoxious fan bases. Mandate that least one IndyCar race a year be run in those lovely old front-engine Offies. Make Notre Dame admit it's not really a football independent anymore, on account of it plays half its games against ACC opponents.

 Lastly, I wish I were a lawmaker in order to establish SOME sort of guidelines for the transfer portal and NILs, because the NCAA sure as hell won't do it.

Come on, folks. Get your act together or I will.