... in which the Cleveland Used-To-Be-Indians unveil an appropriately local-flavor new nickname, only to discover someone else already owned it.
Say hello to the Cleveland Guardians, a men's roller derby team you can read all about at ClevelandGuardians.com. Charlie O'Connell salutes you!
(And if you don't know who Charlie O'Connell was, well, too bad for you. You probably don't know who Big Joanie Weston was, either. Or the San Francisco Bay Area Bombers, or the Northwest Pioneers, or any of the other legends of roller derby who used to entertain us on Saturday afternoons back in the day. 'Twas a different time, young'uns.)
In any event (as the Blob has said many times before), is this not the most Cleveland thing ever?
The city's doomstruck MLB team decides to finally offload its unsavory relic of a nickname, and it actually chooses a a kind of cool new name that has a connection to the city, and -- WAIT, NOBODY THOUGHT TO CHECK FIRST IF SOMEONE ELSE WAS USING IT?? WHAT DO WE HAVE INTERNS FOR??
Yeesh. So now the MLB team likely will have to pay for the website domain and the rights to the name, after first trying to squirm out of it by throwing lawyers at the problem. The good news is, the roller derby team isn't exactly a going concern -- it hasn't played in two years because of the pandemic -- and it's so far under the radar you'd have needed sonar to find it until all this happened.
So I imagine the baseball team will just throw a few hundred thou at it (OK, so maybe a little more, but not much more), and the roller derby team will take it and run (or roll.) After all, it's already gotten more pub because of this than it possibly could have generated otherwise.
Still ... you've gotta just shake your head at being so dumb even a gold-star doofus like Washington NFL owner Daniel Snyder is probably laughing at you.
"Ya knuckleheads," you can imagine him cackling. "Whyncha just call yourselves the Cleveland Baseball Team?"
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