Time now to check in on how Sportsball World, and the nation it serves, is handling the latest Bastard Plague counterattack, which has gotten plenty of support from the dimmer bulbs among our elected representatives/citizenry in general:
* In Tennessee, rapidly gaining on Florida and Texas as the national headquarters for crazy, a halfwit named Jason Zachary mocked fellow SEC member LSU for deciding anyone over the age of 12 must provide proof of vaccination or negative Bastard Plague test to gain entry to an LSU football game.
Most rational people would consider this a reasonable precaution, given the delta variant's unchecked spread. Yet Zachary, who you will not be surprised to learn is a state rep, bragged they don't hold with such notions in Tennessee, where Freedom and Personal Choice are the twin pillars of a free and choice-y state. "It's our right as Americans and Tennesseans to make sure Grandma winds up on a ventilator!" he said. "If we want to turn our state into a pesthouse, BY GOD WE'LL DO IT! 'Murica!"
OK. So he didn't say that.
But he might as well have.
* Moving on to the NFL, the league has announced that 93 percent of its players and personnel are at least partially vaccinated. Both the league and the players' association want to ramp up testing again in the face of the delta variant of the Plague that has driven yet another surge and overwhelmed the nation's hospitals again.
Most of whose Plague beds are now occupied by those who don't hold with them vaccination shots, on account of they cause autism and really bad acne and lizards with razor-sharp teeth that burst out of your stomach and go scurrying off (like in "Alien"!). No, sir. Livestock de-wormer from the friendly neighborhood vet is all those well-informed folks need for this, thanks!
Meanwhile, the NFL also reports that, of the 68 players who have shown red for the Plague since training camps opened, seven times as many unvaccinated players as vaccinated players have been among them.
No doubt this will just boost de-wormer sales among the anti-vaxxer crowd.
* Closer to home, the "You Ain't Gonna Make MY Kid Wear No Mask!" forces scored their first victories this week. Less than two weeks into the new school year, Smith-Green schools up in Churubusco announced it was going to two weeks of e-learning after some 30 percent of elementary students and 20 percent of high school students showed red and went into quarantine.
A couple of days later, East Noble's school system announced it was also going to e-learning, and canceling all sports for the rest of the month. This means East Noble will not be playing football tonight, the first Bastard Plague football casualty of 2021.
One hopes it will be the last, but logic suggests otherwise. Both Smith-Green and East Noble school systems are "mask-optional" (i.e., "no one's wearing a mask"). So are East Allen and Northwest Allen and Southwest Allen, having gotten an earful from parents who howled that making kids wear a mask in the face of a rebounding pandemic was like waterboarding or herding them into cattle cars bound for Auschwitz or some such thing.
In other words: There are gonna be some more open dates on Friday nights this fall. Count on it.
And enjoy.
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