And now a sporadically recurring Blob favorite, What They Were Really Thinking, which today focuses on the NFL Draft, plus dark portents involving a certain quarterback in Green Bay, Wis.:
Zach Wilson, upon learning he'd been drafted by the Jets, as expected: "All right! I'm a Jet!"
(What he was really thinking: "Omigod! The Jets! They've ruined more careers than hotel surveillance video!")
Justin Fields, upon learning the Bears had traded up to draft him: "I can't wait to begin my new life as a CHICAGO BEAR!"
(What he was really thinking: "Omigod! The Bears! They've ruined more careers than Craig T. Nelson in 'All The Right Moves'!")
Mac Jones, upon learning he'd dropped to the 15th pick, where the Patriots snatched him: "Gosh. I kinda dropped like a rock."
(What he was really doing/thinking: Breaking into Steve Martin's Happy Feet dance while shouting "Woo-hoo! I'm a PATRIOT!")
And finally ...
Almost every GM in the NFL, to his current QB, upon learning Aaron Rodgers is not happy in Green Bay and allegedly wants out: "Not to worry, bud. You're still our guy. We have absolute faith in you."
(What almost every GM was really doing/thinking: Breaking into Steve Martin's Happy Feet dance while dialing Aaron Rodgers' agent and shouting "Holy s***! AARON FREAKIN' RODGERS!")
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