Stuff that rhymes

Poimes. We done got poimes (aka, "poems") today here at the Blob.

That's because it's Valentine's Day, when we celebrate hearts and flowers and the wonder of love, and all that other gooshy junk. Also assorted chocolates in heart-shaped boxes, which we will forego today because sooner or later someone always gets the icky one with a nut in it, and there's enough disappointment in the world without that.

 No, sir. To honor the day, the Blob will waive its usual rule against writing stuff that rhymes, and serve up a few of the aforementioned poimes. They will not be about the Blob's sweetheart or your sweethearts or any sweetheart, however, because even the Blob has a gooshiness limit.

Instead, they'll be about this ...

* Your Indiana Hoosiers got road-killed in Columbus, Ohio, yesterday, a circumstance absolutely no one saw coming except for everyone who's even casually followed them this season. After all, the Hoosiers just beat Iowa for the second time this season, and then miraculously beat Northwestern because, well, Northwestern is awful.

So they had a two-game winning streak, and everybody's hopes were up again, and there was much talk about turning corners and such. So of course Ohio State toyed with them like a kitten toys with a ball of yarn, 78-59.

An occasion well-suited to rhyme ...

The Hoosiers were coming,

All the signs did portend,

But then came Columbus ...

Dammit. Fooled us again.

* It was the week that wasn't for new Jacksonville Jaguars coach Urban Meyer, who hired a guy (Chris Doyle) the University of Iowa kicked out for being an apparent racist dirtball, and got appropriately slammed for it from every quarter.

A day later, Doyle resigned. Perhaps by poime ...

OK, OK, 

So I'm outta here, boss.

Guess that means your new gig

Has begun with a loss.

* It was the week that wasn't for Republicans in the Senate, too, who displayed impressive flying dismounts of logic in trying to explain why it looked like they didn't care that their former mad king helped set a murderous pack of lunatics loose on the very seat of American democracy. 

Turns out these Republicans were horrified -- horrified, I tell you! -- by what happened January 6, and, yes, their former mad king bore responsibility for a lot of it. But that didn't mean they were going to hold him accountable or anything, because that would be wrong.

Or as the poet might put it ...

Sure, he's guilty as sin,

Now that we have thought twice.

But we can't vote that way,

'Cause we're timid as mice.

* The speculation goes on in Indianapolis, where the Colts are still looking to settle their unsettled quarterback situation. Who will it be? Matt Ryan? Carson Wentz? An untried (and probably unready) Jacob Eason?

Maybe a poime will help ...

It's a hell of quandary,

This whole Colts QB mess.

If it goes on much longer,

They may dig up Unitas.

* The Daytona 500 is today, an odd convergence of event and holiday. This is because there won't be a lot of valentines exchanged when the laps get skinny and people start getting greedy as they barrel around the joint three wide. 

Yes, sir. It'll be every man for himself then, and no love will be lost. Which doesn't mean there isn't a poime for this occasion, too ...

Roses are red,

And those violets ain't hay.

You drive like my grandma,

Now get out of my way.