Friday, January 24, 2020

Your mascot moment for today

In which a mascot is being accused of breaking the Mascot Code, which states mascots are duty-bound not to scare little kids or invoke fear and loathing, but only to prompt reactions such as "What the hell is that thing supposed to be, anyway?"

The miscreant in this case, we're sad to say, is one of the nation's newest rockstar mascots: Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers mascot. It came out this week that Gritty is being investigated for allegedly punching a 13-year-old boy during a November photoshoot.

Here's Gritty's mugshot. Frankly I don't how anyone could believe he's guilty, even if he is wielding a weapon.

One hopes this is all a big misunderstanding, and Gritty was merely demonstrating to the kid how Dave Schultz used to throw hands back in the Broad Street Bullies days. Nonetheless, police are investigating, which raises the delicious possibility that they'll put Gritty in the box and bring in detectives Benson and Stabler to sweat him.

I'm guessing they'll play hell getting Gritty to talk, though.  Another codicil of the Mascot Code, don't you know.

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