Sunday, November 25, 2018

Reservation for ... someone

Well. That was informative.

Or, you know, not.

America deserved what happened in college football yesterday, because the best part about college football has always been the debates, and now we'll get one. The debates, after all, were the one saving grace of the traditional system for determining a national champion, when the polls decided the issue. AP and UPI would make their call, and in barrooms and living rooms across the country everyone argued just how mythical the so-called mythical national champion was.

And so we came to Saturday.

When it looked like the time had come for Jim Harbaugh to finally beat Urban Meyer, until he looked across Ohio Stadium and said, "Wait, that's Urban Meyer. I can't beat that guy."

And so Ohio State strapped a 62-spot on Michigan and made the nation's alleged best defense look like a series of slalom gates, Buckeye receivers schussing through the UM defensive backfield like Lindsay Vonn. And now ... well, it gets interesting.

Now Michigan will leave vacant one spot in the College Football Playoff, and Georgia will occupy it until it loses to Alabama in the SEC title game. That means one spot will be open again -- and the teams most likely to fill it (presuming they both win their conference championship games) will be Oklahoma and, yes, Ohio State.

Let the debating will begin.

Yeah, you're 11-1, they'll say in Norman, Oklahoma. But it's kind of a Johnny-come-lately 11-1. Sure, you looked overwhelming against Michigan, but you let 5-7 Maryland put 51 on you and barely escaped with your lives, and you had all kinds of trouble at home with a 4-8 Nebraska team, and let's not forget what a .500 Purdue team did to you (49-20, in case you've forgotten. )And you only beat TCU by 12 while we road-killed the Horned Frogs 52-27. Clearly we're the better team.

Pshaw, will be the response in Columbus, Ohio. Or, you know, something like that.

Clearly the better team? they'll say. Your heads must be as empty as all that endless prairie down there. Need we remind you that you gave up 40 points to freaking Kansas? And 56 to West Virginia? And 47 to Oklahoma State, 46 to Texas Tech, and, of course, 48 to Texas in your one loss? You guys couldn't stop a stiff breeze. Heck, you'll probably lose to Texas again in the title game anyway the way you've been playing the last three weeks. So this debate might be kind of moot.

Yeah, but we've got Kyler Murray! they'll say in Norman.

And we've got Dwayne Haskins! they'll say in Columbus.

Yeah, well ... our mascot's cooler! they'll say in Norman.

(Brief pause while the folks in Columbus look at Brutus Buckeye, a guy with a giant nut for a head.)

OK. You got us there, they'll say.

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