Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Meanwhile, in chess ...

Time now for another exciting update from the world chess championships, where reigning world champion and LeBron James of chess Magnus Carlsen and mega-talented American challenger Fabiano Caruana are locked in an epic struggle of knights, pawns and castle-looking things (aka, rooks.)

So what has happened since the last time we checked in?

Same as last time: Not a damn thing!

Carlsen and Caruana have completed the 12-game match, and nothing has been settled. In fact, no one has yet won a single game of the 12. Every one has ended in a draw. This includes the last game, when it looked like Carlsen had Caruana on the ropes but refused to press his advantage, opting instead to offer the all-but-beaten Caruana another draw.

Not being a dummy, Caruana eagerly accepted.

According to people who know way more about chess than the Blob, this was extremely wuss-like behavior for a reigning champion. In fact many of the people who know way more about chess than the Blob all but called Carlsen a big fat chicken. Apparently it was like the LeBron James of chess imitating the real LeBron James and giving up the basketball with the game on the line.

(This is not exactly what LeBron James ever did, mind you. What he did was find the open man, which is what you're supposed to do when you're double- and sometimes triple-teamed. But you can't educate everyone about basketball overnight.)

Anyway ... so now it goes to a tiebreaker. The Blob has no idea what a tiebreaker in chess entails. You play only with the castle-looking things and knights? Speed checkers? Each player gets 10 moves and then you A) declare it a tie, in which Carlsen retains his title, or B) settle it with a rousing game of Stratego?

Beats me. All I know is, I'd have a huge advantage if they went the Stratego route.

Carlsen always hides his flag in the same place, you see. Always.

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