No, I do not know what the deal is with Andrew Luck's shoulder. So please stop calling me.
All I know, all any of us know outside the Cone of Silence out at the Indianapolis Colts complex on 56th Street, is that Luck's passing arm is still attached to his shoulder in what looks to be the proper way. Witnesses who've seen him around (although not throwing) say his fingers are not waving at us from beside his head or anything like that. So that's good, at least.
The rest, however, is all head coach Chuck Pagano and owner Jim Irsay dancing like Gene Kelly in a rainstorm. Pagano swears he's been so busy he hasn't even seen his franchise quarterback (and meal ticket) throw. Irsay initially compared Luck's shoulder surgery to the radical reconstruction of Drew Brees' shoulder, then said it was a simple, basic labrum procedure.
So who knows. Luck could miss the season opener, or he could miss the season opener plus five or six more games. That will become clear only if the Colts are forced to put him on the regular season PUP (Physically Unable to Perform) list, which would sit him down for six games per league rules.
What does the Blob think?
I think Luck might have actually hurt his shoulder trying to tunnel out of Indy. But that's just me.
I also think he should resume doing so as soon as he's able, because if he stays in Indy he's going to get killed. Or at the very least wind up as a disembodied talking head in a jar, ala Richard Nixon in "Futurama."
Other than that, the Blob's Spidey sense is tingling all over the place on this one. It has, after all, been seven months since Luck's surgery. He's (apparently) just now starting the throw the football with a will again. And all the hemming and hawing going on out on 56th Street suggests that's all he's ready to do at that moment.
So I have to wonder if this was as routine a procedure as everyone's made it out to be. Seven months and still (again, apparently) not ready to go? Doesn't sound like a simple labrum fix to me.
But then, I'm not a doctor. And I'm not Chuck Pagano or Jim Irsay or anyone else inside the Cone of Silence. I'm just a naturally suspicious guy, especially when NFL teams get to talking about surgeries on key players.
In the meantime, all hail Scott Tolzien. Or that other guy, Stephen Whatshisface. May the Force be with them.
If Luck's experience is any indication, they're going to need it.