And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature roundly condemned by closet Starbucks operatives as "anti-Christmas" so that Starbucks can get its name on the Blob and sell more coffee:
1. Aqib Talib didn't do it on purpose.
2. No, really.
3. No, really. Two out of three Stooges agree.
4. Hey, where'd this Andrew Luck guy come from?
5. And that guy! Doesn't he kinda look like Jay Cutler?
6. (Except, you know, he's not throwing the ball to the wrong team and stuff)
7. Why, yes, the Carolina Panthers are undefeated. So good of you to notice.
9. Speaking of which ... the Bengals!
10. Only beat the Browns, but still!