The Fist-y City

 There were no drunken brawls in the nether regions of Wrigley Field last night, possibly because the drunks were too busy catching the baseballs the Cubs kept airmailing into the seats. A 17-3 beatdown of the rival Brewers -- in which the Bearcubs hit an astounding nine home runs -- will soothe the savage beast in anyone, it seems.

And believe me, there do seem to be a lot of savage beasts in the Fist-y City these days. Or  plain idiots, if you prefer.

Several times in the last few weeks ugly brawls have erupted in the outfield seats at both Wrigley and Rate Park on the south side, as lard-ish over-served guys in throwback Sandberg and Konerko jerseys have traded punches ... or leaped four rows onto a Sandberg's back ... or been Konerko-ed three or four more rows on down.

At least once it happened during the Cubs-White Sox city series, so maybe no surprise there. Still, it does make you wonder what they're putting in the water these days in Chi.

Or maybe it's just Chicago being Chicago -- although far be it from me to indict a whole city for the actions of a few ... OK, a bunch ... OK. a whole pile of low-IQ meatheads.

Because, listen, how dim do you have to be to say "Imma go out to the Confines, slam  eleventy Old Styles and then go to Fist City with some loser in a Hee-Seop Choi jersey"?

You can't beat fun at the old ballpark, as Harry used to say.

Seriously, what compels anyone who walks upright to start a fight at a baseball game, other than the booze? It's a baseball game, people. It's supposed to be red hots and Cracker Jacks and a good time that's had by all. What could possibly make you mad enough to start punching another baseball fan in the face (or more than likely, miss everything but air with five out of six punches?)

Surely it can't be baseball-related, can it?

Drunken Sox Fan: Sandberg? Man, that guy was sooo overrated. 

Drunken Cubs Fan: Konerko? What's that, a rash?

Sox Fan: Remember 1906? (Sox 4-2 over the Cubs in the World Series)

Cubs Fan: Remember 2016?

Sox Fan:  Big whoop. You beat CLEVELAND, for God's sake.

Random Indians Fan In A Joe Charbonneau Jersey: Hey!

(Leaps over a row of seats and starts pounding on Sox fan)

Could that possibly happen? 

Or is just because it's late August/early September, everyone's worn out from the summer heat, and the Bears are still talking about moving to INDIANA, for God's sake?

Random Fan In The Bleachers: Hey, Indiana's not so bad.

(Drunken Sox Fan and Drunken Cubs Fan leap over TWO rows of seats and start swinging, knocking several full beers out of people's hands and drawing their pissed-off owners into the fray ...)

Yessir. Now THAT I could see.