And now, like the swallows to Capistrano or the mosquitos to, well, pretty much everywhere, the perennial return of The NFL In So Many Words, the Blob feature of which John McEnroe said "You CANNOT be SERIOUS!", and Margie in "Fargo" said "Just throwin' up here.":
1. "You CANNOT be SERIOUS!" (Green Bay fans, after the Packers blew another double-digit lead, gave up 29 unanswered points and lost to the Vikings. The Vikings, for pity's sake!)
2. "Just throwin' up here." (Cowboys, Colts, Browns, Rams, Panthers fans)
3. "You CANNOT be SERIOUS!" (Panthers fans again, after Carolina gave up 59 points to the Bears)
4. "Arrrgh! Sixty points and I woulda won a free Big Mac!" (Bears fans)
5. Meanwhile, the Chiefs!
6. Kicked the Broncos around like a beanbag on Monday Night Football.
7. "Ha! Told ya I wasn't dead! You said I was dead! Well, I'm not! So phooey on you!" (Patrick Mahomes, who threw for two scores and ran for another in the 31-10 Chiefs win)
8. "Ha! I caught a long pass! Told ya I wasn't washed! Marrying Tay-Tay didn't ruin me after all, so nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah!" (Travis Kelce, who caught three balls for 71 yards)
9. "Daaaang. We just lost to Drew Lock!" (The Patriots, after Seattle won the Super Bowl rematch with their backup Lock after losing Sam Darnold in the first quarter)
10. "Daaaang. Australia's, like, really, really far away!" (The Rams, after getting jet-lagged in Melbourne by the 49ers -- who, unlike the Rams, flew down a week early to acclimate themselves)
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