Drumming up dumbness

 (In which the Blob once again waves a brief but cheery farewell to Sportsball World. The standard procedures apply.)

Oh, Micah. Micah, Micah, Micah.

You done did it now, son.

You done riled up the band people.

On social media the other day you hand-wrung about the Westfield High School drum corps posting photos of them performing while wearing ... well, red uniforms. Guess you thought this meant they were worshipping the Devil or some such thing, because you said this was an example of anti-Christian attitudes in our public schools and urged parents to use the voucher system to get their kids out said schools.

Oh, Micah. Micah, Micah, Micah.

I'd say you were dumber than a bag of hammers, but that would get boxes of rocks howling, "Hey, what about US?"

Never mind the fact that Micah Beckwith, our esteemed Loot Guv, is openly encouraging parents to use vouchers to flee the very school system he, as an elected government official, is charged with overseeing. (And by doing so, spilling the beans about the voucher system: Its goal, and the political right's goal, is to destroy the public school system). And never mind what a punk move it is for the Loot Guv of the state of Indiana to pick on a bunch of high school kids.

It's also extinction-level clueless.

Because these were not just high school kids he chose to target. They were high school band kids. And, by extension, high school band kids with parents.

Oh, Micah. Micah, Micah, Micah.

I'd say you were about half-bright, but that would get the other half howling, "Hey, what about ME?"

Every reporter who's ever covered the state band contest, see, could tell about band parents. (And, no, before you start, not all band parents). You do NOT want to piss off band parents, or band people in general. It's like saying "Hey, what if I woke up this sleeping bear?"

And so the aforementioned Every Reporter was always very, very careful about how they wrote their contest stories, making sure to mention every local school competing. And even then, a day or two after his or her newspaper splashed the story and big photos all over its pages, at least one phone would ring in the newsroom.

Whoever picked it up would hear this: "Who is this (Every Reporter's name here), and why did (he/she) only devote ONE SENTENCE to our proud Dean Wormer High School Marching Plumb Bobs? How could (he/she) just IGNORE all their hard work, which earned them a 10th-place finish?"

After which Every Reporter would have to go into hiding for awhile.

And, yes, OK, so I'm joking. But not by a lot.

Quick story: I once covered a football game at a local high school whose marching band -- and a damn good one, by the way -- called itself the Big Orange Pride. Except one year the Big Orange Pride decided to dress in teal uniforms. This apparently became a huge bone of contention among the various band parents.

I know this because when the band marched out at halftime, I blurted out, "Hey, look, it's the Big Teal Pride!"

The school employee sitting next to me practically turned white as a sheet.

"Shhhh," he said, leaning over. "That is a BIG controversy right now.'

Or words to that effect.

Anyway, way to go, Micah Beckwith. Drum up some more dumbness. Wake up that sleeping bear. And don't worry.

I hear they do wonders with plastic surgery these days.