Meanwhile, in Indianapolis ...

Just as there are eternal verities kiting about in the universe, there are eternal mysteries, too. Things that make no sense at all to mere mortals, and for which there seem to be no satisfactory answers.

Like, for instance, does anyone actually still watch "Survivor" after 30-plus years? And if so, why?

Also, who did put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

Also-also, what the heck are the Indianapolis Colts doing?

This is a question you could ask virtually any time at all in the last six years, and the answer would be "Who the heck knows?" Or, "Beats me." Or, "They're the Colts. If it made sense, they wouldn't be doing it."

Which brings us to this morning, and NFL free agency, and the quarterback carousel whirling so fast various Billy Bob Heisman Arms are being flung off  like Momma being thrown from the train (remember that classic?).

Sam Darnold just signed a $100 mill deal to play for the Seahawks. Geno Smith, his predecessor, is a Raider now. Justin Fields is a Jet; Zach Wilson is a Dolphin; and Matthew Stafford is staying put in L.A. after the Rams agreed to pay him the GNP of Liechtenstein.

Everyone's settling into their digs, in other words. And what of the Colts, who for some earthly reason declared not long ago it would be a brilliant idea to stage real competition for the starting quarterback job?

So far they've sat back and watched the potential Real Competition go everywhere but Indianapolis.

What's up with that?

I'll choose Answer No. 2 from the aforementioned list: Beats me.

First of all, you're got to wonder what Chris Ballard and Co. are thinking by publicly talking about competition at the most important position on an NFL team. Does this mean, after just two seasons, that they're edging toward bailing on their franchise pick, Anthony Richardson? Does it mean bringing in someone to "compete" for QB1, but who, ultimately, the Colts have no intention of starting ahead of Richardson?

And how does Richardson interpret all this, except to conclude the team that took him fourth in the 2023 NFL draft has already decided he's thisclose to being a bust? And what does that do to his standing in the locker room, which is already less than ideal?

Imagine the conversation among the Colts brainiacs ...

GM Chris Ballard: "OK, guys, so we're paying this 21-year-old kid to be the Man, but after an enormous sample size of 15 games in two seasons he's still not the Man. What should we do to help him out?"

Some random guy in the room: "I got it, Chief! How 'bout we manufacture a fake quarterback controversy? That'll toughen up AR, and just think what a calming effect it will have on the locker room!"

Some other random guy: "Why, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

Ballard: "First Random Guy, I love it. And Second Random Guy ... you're fired."

And then the Colts sit tight while the available quarterback pool keeps shrinking. Perhaps they're waiting on Aaron Rodgers, since bringing in washed senior citizens has paid off so handsomely in the recent past.

Aye-yi-yi.