Monday, October 14, 2024

Da Bearz! (Maybe)

 The Chicago Bears pureed the Jacksonville Jaguars 35-16 over in London yesterday, and Caleb Williams looked like the quarterback Chicago hasn't had since Mrs. O'Leary's cow kicked over the lantern. And now the predictable is happening in the Windblown City.

The citizenry is turning into all those fat guys in that old "Da Bearz" SNL skit.

If Caleb Williams fought Superman, who would win?

Caleb Williams!

If you made one team out of the Lombardi Packers, the Chuck Noll Steelers and the Bill Walsh 49ers, and they played Da Bearz, who would win?

Da Bearz!

That sort of thing.

And, OK, sure, there's likely plenty of skepticism out there. But the fan base is all revved up. Even the Chicago media is in on it, with columnists columnizing that Caleb Williams is the elite quarterback Chicagoans have been waiting for since great-grandpa was storming the beaches of Normandy and Sid Luckman was whupping various Giants, Eagles and Lions.

This is because the kid completed 23-of-29 throws yesterday for 226 yards and four touchdowns, and when he had to run he ran for 56 yards and averaged 14 yards per tote.

It's because the Bears are 4-2 now and have won their last three games by a combined score of 95-44. 

It's because the Bears look like a real football team with a real quarterback, and it's just possible that's what they really are.

So I guess now is the time for the Blob to do what the Blob does best.

Stick a pin in some kid's balloon. Burst a bubble or two. Conjure rain just in time for the parade. All that.

Yes, I am That Guy. I'm the driver's ed instructor who was always telling you to SLOW THE (BLEEP) DOWN. I'm the party pooper, the buzz killer, the responsible one holding onto the back of your coat when you tried to rush headlong off the cliff.

I'm the guy who's saying, yes, the Bears are getting better every week, and Caleb Williams is getting better every week, and maybe he is the long-awaited golden child. But a couple of things must be said.

One, two of the Bears victories in their three-game win streak have come against the two worst teams in the NFL.

Two ... well, have you seen the Bears schedule from mid-November on?

Yes, it's OK to feel good about the last three games, but Jacksonville is 1-5 and the Jags only W came at home against the Indianapolis Colts, who never win in Jacksonville. And the Carolina Panthers, whom the Bears pole-axed last week, are also 1-5 and are giving up a tick under 34 points per game.

I'm not trying to feng anyone's shui here. I'm just pointing out that the Bears haven't exactly been beating up on the Lombardi Packers, the Noll Steelers or the Walsh 49ers.

Also, I've gotten a look at the schedule. And, ye gods, what a gauntlet from the week before Thanksgiving on.

Between Nov. 17 and Dec. 22, here's who the Bears play: The Packers, the Vikings, the Lions, the 49ers, the Vikings again and the Lions again. That's four teams with a current combined record of 16-6. And if you throw out the Niners, it's 13-3.

I'm guessing that's where we find out who these Bears really are. 

Da Bearz? Or just, you know, the Bears?

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