Challenge time!

President Biden has turned down Donald Trump's 18-hole golf challenge, which is the smart play because A) Trump would probably cheat;  B) it's just a transparent way for Huckster Donny to promote his golf properties and everyone knows it; and C) the whole idea is silly and juvenile to begin with, "silly" and "juvenile" being Huckster Donny's second and third middle names.

This is a presidential campaign, not The Battle of the Network Stars. Which means someone has to be the grownup in the room.

In this case, that was Biden campaign spokesperson James Singer -- whose stinging response began with "We'd challenge Donald Trump to create jobs, but he lost 3 million" and continued with several other zingers. If nothing else, it gave me a launch point for my own campaign challenges, if the President and the Silly Juvenile are up for it:

* I challenge the candidates to quote passages from the Bible from memory. Chapter and verse included. 

(Realizing this is rigged heavily against the Silly Juvenile, who loves to gin up the evangelicals by waving a Bible in the air even though he has no idea what's in it.)

* I challenge the candidates to read a book, any book, in its entirety.

(Realizing this is rigged against both of them, because Biden would nod off three pages in and the Silly Juvenile's never read a book in his life that wasn't an Archie comic or didn't have a picture of himself on the cover.)

* I challenge the candidates to watch "How A Bill Becomes Law" and then summarize it.

(Biden probably could; the Silly Juvenile would just say, "You know, I like that little cartoon bill. He's funny. He should have his own TV show.")

* I challenge the candidates to correctly identify the states by their shapes.

(And, no, "Mar-A-Lago", "Scranton" and "One of them square states" will not be accepted as answers.)

* I challenge the candidates to drink an entire carton of milk through one of those worthless paper straws that are making an environmentally-friendly comeback right now.

(Neither could do it, but the Silly Juvenile would be disqualified for cheating after he threw the straw away, guzzled the milk and then, I don't know, ate the carton.)

* Similarly, I challenge the candidates to that blow-into-the-tube-and-keep-the-little-ball-in-the-air test from "The Right Stuff."

(Big advantage for the Silly Juvenile, who never seems to run out of hot air.)

And last but not least ...

* I challenge the candidates to (choose one) a pie fight; a rotten tomato fight; a rotten egg fight; a horse race.

(Because a presidential race should be more than just metaphor.)