Wait, what?

 The first round of the 2024 NFL Draft is behind us now, and ... wait, what?

You mean the Bears might not have done something stupid for once?

You mean they went ahead and chose the QB everyone wanted at No. 1, and then they scooped one of the top three wide receivers in the draft with the No. 9 pick?

You mean now they've got Caleb Williams and Rome Odunze, who joins a wide receiver room that already has Pro Bowl wideouts D.J. Moore and Keenan Allen? You mean that's in addition to a tight end room that includes Cole Kmet and Gerald Everett? You mean the Bears not only didn't go off the rails and use the No. 1 pick on an offensive lineman from Directional Hyphen Tech State, they also didn't use the No. 9 pick on an edge rusher who's a sack machine but who also has had surgery on his neck?

No, they by-God didn't. That was actually the Indianapolis Colts who took Neck Surgery Guy.

His name is Laiatu Latu, and four years ago he suffered a neck injury so severe it required fusion surgery, and he was told at the time his football career was over. His coach at the University of Washington even announced he'd retired.

But Latu sat out 2021, transferred to UCLA, and in 2022 recorded 10 1/2 sacks for the Bruins as a backup. Last season, as a starter, he had 13 more sacks, 21 1/2 tackles for loss and was the Pac-12 defensive player of the year.

Last night the Colts, with the 15th pick, made him the first defensive player taken in the draft. Some people thought this was a curious choice not only because Latu is Neck Surgery Guy, but also because the pass rush was a Colts strength last season; their 51 sacks as a team were the most since they became the Indianapolis Colts in 1984.

"Wait, what?" you're saying now. "This sounds like something the Bears would do! What gives, Mr. Blob?"

Hey, don't ask me. The world's a strange old place. I mean, right now we've a got a Supreme Court justice (Samuel Alito) who thinks former presidents should be immune from prosecution because if they weren't, they'd have to sit in court like any other Joe Schmo defendant and wouldn't even get to go anywhere decent for lunch.

(I'm not making that up. Go check out what Alito said.)

Anyway, you put that together with the Bears actually coming out looking like draft winners, and that is one Twilight Zone of a day. They weren't the Colts. They also weren't the Atlanta Falcons, who made Washington quarterback Michael Penix Jr. the surprise pick at No. 8 even though they just handed Kirk Cousins $180 million across four years to be their quarterback.

"Wait, what?" Cousins might have said, and probably did.

Others were willing to give the Falcons the benefit of the doubt, in keeping with the tradition of not  just blurting "Jesus, what a stupid pick!" on draft night.

"Maybe this could be one of those Aaron Rodgers/Jordan Love sort of deals," someone suggested., in so many words.

"Sure! Penix sits four or five years behind Cousins and then steps into the job!" someone else agreed, in so many words.

All of this, of course, ignores that Penix has the best arm in the draft (in the Blob's opinion, ,anyway), and will be ready to light up opposing defenses long before that four-or-five-year window closes. So it seems all the Falcons have done here is buy themselves a nice juicy quarterback controversy.

"Not us, by God!" the Bears are probably saying right now, with a gleeful chuckle.

And there's one more Twilight Zone moment: The Bears laughing at someone else for once. Strange days, indeed.