Stuff they say in East Lansing

 I don't know what they teach up there at Michigan State University, but apparently it isn't learning from one's mistakes. Because they keep finding ways to make the same ones over and over again.

First, they employed a so-called doctor for 20 years who enjoyed sexually molesting some of America's finest women gymnasts.

Now, they've given the football program over to a guy who's being credibly accused of sexual harassment by -- irony of ironies --a woman  who owns a company that tries to raise awareness about sexual misconduct, particularly college athletics.

Her name is Brenda Tracy, and Michigan State head coach Mel Tucker invited to campus to talk to his football players. Then, Tucker alleges, he started hitting on her, sending her gifts, asking if she'd date him, and at one point masturbating during a phone call with her.

Tucker claims the latter was consensual phone sex, which, OK, is still pretty disgusting even if true. In any case, the university suspended him yesterday pending a full hearing.

Here's the kicker: After the 2021 seaso, MSU handed him a gargantuan 10-year extension worth $95 million. Michigan State promptly went 5-7 last year, and the school is still on the hook for $77 million of Tucker's deal.

This is some next-level administrative bungling, and stirs the Blob's notoriously bent powers of imagination to wonder what MSU officials might have said as they stumbled from one dumpster fire to another ...

(Upon hiring Dr. Larry Nassar): "Hey, let's hire Larry Nassar to work with our gymnasts! He's got a sterling reputation!"

(After the first gymnasts accused Nassar of some funky "examinations"): "Oh, my dear, that can't possibly be true! Dr. Nassar has a sterling reputation!"

(After more and more gymnasts started to come forward): "That's nice dear, but, remember, he's got a sterling reputation and you're just a bunch of cutie-pie pixies who are good at tumbling and dismounts and such. So go back to tumbling and dismounts and such and let the grownups worry about Dr. Nassar."

(After the pixies revolted and kept hollering that Nassar was a sicko, and finally he was found guilty of molesting dozens of gymnasts and went to prison): "But he had a sterling reputation!"

(After hiring Mel Tucker as football coach and he went 11-2 and won the Peach Bowl in 2021): "Lookit this guy! I mean, it's only one year, but we should lock him up for the next decade 'cause obviously the Spartans are gonna do this EVERY YEAR!"

(After the Spartans went 5-7 in 2022): "Uhhhh ..."

(After Tracy filed her complaint against him and the university investigated, suspended Tucker and now is faced with possibly eating that huge contract): "Uhhhh ..."

Yeesh. They might grow a lot of stuff up there in East Lansing, for all I know. But they sure can't grow a clue.