Monday, September 25, 2023

Analyst for a day

 The Blob was going to wait for its weekly NFL feature to do this, but I'm too excited because OMIGOD TAYLOR SWIFT IS SITTING NEXT TO TRAVIS KELCE'S MOTHER IN ARROWHEAD STADIUM. So I'm going to go straight to the transcript of Taylor as a football fan/analyst for a day.

(Also, it gives me an extra chance to obliquely comment on the Steaming Pile That Walks Like A Football Team, aka the dog-ass Chicago Bears.)

Let's go to the tape from our secret recording device in the Kelce family suite, shall we? 

(All stuff Taylor really said -- or in other words, stuff we completely made up):

"Are the Bears actually trying?"

"Who's No. 1? He looks a lot more confused than our 15 guy. Why is he so confused?"

"OK, so is our 15 guy really this good, or are the Bears just letting him do what he wants because he's in all those commercials?"

"It's 31-0 and not even halftime yet! Goodness, why don't the Bears just catch an early flight home and get back to Chicago at a decent hour?" 

|"OK, so, the Bears AREN'T actually trying. Right?"

"Yay! Travis scored! But it would be more fun if the Bears were trying."

 And last but not least, watching the clock run out on the Chiefs 41-10 win ...

"I feel sorry for the poor Bears. I think I'll write a song about them from their fans' perspective. I'm gonna call it either 'You're Never Ever Ever Getting Your S*** Together', or "Fine, Move Out To Arlington, See If We Care."

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