Heaven sent

 It's always a mistake to try to decipher the inner workings of Kyrie Irving's mind, because it's a crowded place and you can break a leg tripping over the furniture. It's never where normal people would put it, after all.

But sometimes the Blob can't resist making mistakes. Especially when Kyrie says something really, really off the wall.

Just recently Irving, the lone member of the Brooklyn Nets not to get vaccinated against the Bastard Plague that's killed 700,000 Americans, said he doesn't need the jab because God is protecting him. God not being in charge of the borough of Brooklyn, however, the Lord still can't get him into the Barclay Center to play games, although Irving has been granted special dispensation to practice there.

This notion that God is protecting him, though, is one held by more than just Irving. It's a favored defense for anti-vaxxers of a particular faith, and the Blob will not debate its theology. What it will do is imagine the Almighty's response according to the Blob's own understanding of faith.

That would be the faith that says, "God protects those who protect themselves."

So here's Kyrie, and others, saying "God will protect us."

And here's the Almighty's imagined response:

Guys, guys, GUYS. And GALS. Yes, I'll protect you. You are all my children, and I love you. But I'm not the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks. I'm not some genie springing from a bottle to place a Magic Jedi Force Field around ya'll. I mean, I could do that -- I am the Almighty, after all -- but I've never been partial to cheap theatrics.

So here's what I've done instead: I've placed upon this Earth scientists and bestowed upon them the knowledge to develop the very vaccines you reject. That's how I'm protecting you. You know the old joke about the guy in the flood who drowns because he believes God will save him, and God tells him He sent a boat and a helicopter, what else did he want?

Well, this is that. Same deal. Got it?

Let's pray so.