A few brief thoughts on NFL Week 1

And now the dangerously contagious return of The NFL In So Many Words, the stubbornly resistant Blob feature of which critics have said "Gaah! It's so stubbornly resistant!" and also "Where's my Hazmat suit? SOMEBODY GET ME MY HAZMAT SUIT!!":

1. "Yippee! This is our y--" (Bills fans)

2. "Yippee! This is our y--" (Titans fans, Colts fans, Packers fans, Browns fans)

3. "We're gonna beat the Chiefs in Arrowhead! WE'RE GONNA BEAT THE CHIEFS IN ARRO--!" (Also Browns fans)

4. It's Tuesday morning and Cardinals edge rusher Chandler Jones just sacked Titans quarterback Ryan Tannehill again.

5. It's Tuesday morning and Ryan Tannehill just woke up screaming from a horrible nightmare in which a 50-foot Chandler Jones was chasing him.

6. Lions suck. Bears suck. Vikings suck. Packers suck.

7. "Yippee! It's our year to win the NFC North!" (The Duluth Eskimos)

8. In other news, Aaron Rodgers (15-of-28, 133 yards, two picks and a 13.4 QBR in a 38-3 loss to the Saints) apparently carries through on his threat not to return to the Green Bay Packers.

9. Also in other news, Jameis Winston throws five touchdown passes for the Saints.

10. "Yippee! It's New Jameis!" (Saints fans, until next week)