The Return. Or whatever.

Know what I'm wondering this morning, besides when precisely the New York Times became the Hooterville Light and Shopper?

(NYT Opinion Underling: "Hey, look, boss, we got a submission here  from America's foremost wingnut senator, Tom Cotton!" NYT Opinion Editor James Bennet: "Run that baby!" Underling: "Don't you want to read it first, boss?" Bennet: "Nah, I'm good.")

(Every Other Journo In The Country: "WHATTA YOU MEAN HE DIDN'T READ IT??")

Anyway ...

What I'm wondering is, what do we call this, now that the NBA has announced it's starting up again on July 31st?

Do we surrender to the League's own delusion and call it the resumption of the 2019-2020 season after a brief intermission of, um, 4 1/2 months?

Do we regard it as a kinda-sorta movie trailer for the 2020-21 season, which by the time the NBA "returns" will be less than three months away?

Or do we see it as some weird hurried-up, thrown-together ... thing ... independent of either?

The Blob votes "C." Or maybe "B."

But not "A." Definitely not "A."

Because, see, you can call an armadillo a duck, but that doesn't make it a duck. And when you're "resuming" after what's essentially an entire offseason, it's not really "resuming." You're either starting a new season or you're doing the Weird Thrown-Together Thing because you've got TV contracts to honor.

That's how the public is going to regard this, no matter how you try to sell it. You can call it "the 2019-2020 NBA Playoffs" until your larynx gives out, but the public will never regard whoever wins the Weird Thrown-Together Summer Thing as the 2019-2020 NBA "champions." They'll say "Oh, yeah, the Clippers. Didn't they win that weird thrown-together summer thing?"

That's why it's absurd they're even doing this, even if people probably will watch despite the fact it's basketball in August. People watch the NBA Summer League, after all. And that's pretty much what this will be, only with more bells and whistles.

The upshot of this, unfortunately, is that by "resuming" the season in August, you're rear-ending the beginning of next season. So you not only make an undefinable hash of the end of one season, you risk making hash of the beginning of another.

Look. Last season is over. It's been over for awhile. It's Appomattox, you're surrounded, it's time to go see Grant and sign the surrender papers.

And then, turn the page.

Conduct your training camps, start the new season early, end the new season early. Market it as the Double Season. Label the 2020-21 NBA Finals as Two Finals In One. Whoever wins will go into the books as the champions of both seasons.

I mean, if you're gonna call an armadillo a duck, you might as well make it the most realistic duck you can. Right?