Unwritten balderdash

It seems White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson hit a home run the other day, and then did what's apparently not allowed in baseball anymore.

He showed joy.

Winged his bat toward the dugout. Shouted happily at his teammates. Slapped hands with his first-base coach as he tripped merrily around the bases.

In other words, he did what every major-league baseball player with any awareness should do: Celebrate not only a home run, but the wondrous fact that it was a nice day in April and he was getting paid absurdly well to play a child's game.

Apparently this ran afoul of baseball's notorious unwritten rules, which dictate that such behavior is a grave affront to the pitcher you've just taken yard. And so the next time Anderson came up, his victim, Royals pitcher Brad Keller, plunked him in the tush with a two-seam fastball.

This of course touched off a bench-clearing brawl, which apparently also is an unwritten rule. And allow the Blob to say a couple of things about that which it's said before.

One, if these unwritten rules were actually rules and not complete nonsense, they'd be written down somewhere.

Two, (to channel the late Dale Earnhardt), Brad Keller is a candy-ass.

As is any pitcher who'd throw at a guy because he celebrated a home run too much. It's not the job of the hitter to make an opposing pitcher feel less bad about serving up a gopher ball. He is, after all, the opposing pitcher. And if that pitcher doesn't want someone celebrating on his watch, throw a better pitch next time. Don't take it out on the hitter because you didn't.

"I'm going to keep being me and keep having fun, man," Anderson said when it was all over the other day. "Our fans work hard and pay to come to the ballpark to come see a show. Why not give them one?"

Damn skippy.