Put a sock in that rivalry, son

Somewhere today an old Texas boy named Harold Philipp is rolling his eyes so far back in his head he can see his shoulder blades.

Ol' Harold, see, was a fullback for the Texas Longhorns back in the day, and one year before what they used to call the Red River Shootout -- Texas vs. Oklahoma, one of college football's oldest and greatest rivalries -- someone asked him what he thought of a Texas boy playing for Oklahoma.

"Why, that's just like somebody from the United States playing for Nazi Germany," ol' Harold said.

There is no record that ol' Harold was publicly reprimanded for that.

Of course, it was a different day then. Nobody thought it was a swell idea to muck up great rivalries with a lot of air kisses and phony sweet talk. Nobody walked around with sticks up their nether orifices, finger-wagging and tsk-tsking about sportsmanship and respect even if your opponent is your most bitter rival.

That's not the case now, as another UT player, linebacker Breckyn Hager, can attest. It seems as he was walking off the field after Texas beat Iowa State, someone mentioned that Kansas, of all people, had dinged Oklahoma for 40 points that day.

Well, gee, Hager said. That's probably because "OU sucks."

Now, in Austin, that's pretty much received wisdom. But this being 2018, when simple wholesome enmity between bitter rivals is strictly verboten, the Big 12 took offense. Commissioner Bob Bowlsby said Hager had violated the league's sportsmanship and ethical conduct policies, and so he drew a public reprimand.

Hence the eye-rolling from Harold Philipp, wherever in the cosmos he is.

And Hager?

Through UT, he issued a statement in which he said he was "truly sorry," and that he had "no ill intentions when I made my comments about Oklahoma." Moreover, "I have the utmost respect for the University of Oklahoma and their football program."

Fortunately for him, no one noticed what he was undoubtedly saying under his breath, which was likely along the lines of  "Screw OU ... Screw OU ... Screw OU."

Or that, as he dictated his statement, his fingers were firmly crossed.