And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the revolutionary, compassionate Blob feature that cares about YOUR needs, that puts YOU first, that isn't like all those other Blob features with their hidden fees and long lines at the checkout:
1. It's Tuesday morning and the Bills have released Nathan Peterman into the wild.
2. "Why would you do something so environmentally irresponsible?" (The Wild)
3. Sooo ... maybe Eli Manning isn't finished after all?
4. "Meh. It was only us." (The 49ers)
5. The Browns are going to the Super Bowl!
6. "Meh. It was only us." (The Falcons)
7. The Patriots! Beaten! Humiliated! Ground to tiny microscopic particles of dust beneath Marcus Mariota's mighty heel!
8. "Wait ... did somebody just call me a heel?" (Marcus Mariota)
9. It's Tuesday morning and the Saints just scored again.
10. "Dammit!" (The Bengals).
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