One-and-Done U.

Things could still happen, one supposes. Things sometimes do.

The earth could open and swallow Durham, N.C., whole.

Aliens could abduct Mike Krzyzewski and demand a cut of his apparel deal.

Coach K's four professionals-in-transit -- "freshmen" RJ Barrett, Zion Williamson, Cam Reddish and Tre Jones -- could demand a cut of his apparel deal. 

Or their own apparel deal.

Commerce, after all, is what drives college basketball on the corporate level, and we are going to get a faceful of it this winter from Duke University. You never want to jump to conclusions, even if jumping to conclusions is what everyone tends to do in sports. But if what Duke rolled out last night was an accurate read of what's to come this "college" basketball season, that season is over before it begins.

What happened last night was One-and-Done U. ran into One-and-Done U. 2.0. And got done to a crisp.

John Calipari, who introduced the concept of renting professionals-in-transit at Kentucky, ran into the next generation of the genre, and t'weren't pretty. The final was No. 4 Duke 118, No. 2 Kentucky 84, and it probably wasn't that close. Barrett, Williamson and Reddish combined for 83 points. Jones dished seven assists. Krzyzewski started all four of them, and then, absurdly, made it sound in the postgame like this was some sort brave step into the unknown.

It wasn't. Were it not for the NBA's ridiculous 19-year-old rule, after all, the four Duke freshman would be playing in the NBA right now. Barrett, Williamson and Reddish would have been top-ten picks in this year's draft. By next June's draft, they may be the top three picks.

In other words, they are not college students, at least in any sense except parody. They are unpaid mercenaries, brought in to feed the imperatives of Duke Inc., just as high-end freshmen are brought in every year to feed the imperatives of Kentucky Inc. or North Carolina Inc. or Kansas Inc.

That college buckets is an Inc. business is old news at this point, but all those FBI wiretaps gave America a good look at how the sausage is made, and that never makes for pretty viewing. If we always knew that deals got cut and money changed hands, there's a difference between knowing it and knowing it. And we know it now.

The irony, of course, is that it's Duke that's now the bellwether for all this -- Duke, whom the powers-that-be have always held up as a shining example of College Athletics Done Right. At Duke, basketball players were not just glorified stevedores, the narrative went. They were students. They went to class. And they were there to get an education.

Not like, you know, those guys at Kentucky.

And now?

Now Duke has out-Kentucky-ed Kentucky.

Now Duke is not a university but a brand, and everything that doesn't advance the brand is subsumed. Those four celebrated "freshmen," after all, got Duke Inc. its own documentary series before the season even began. How invaluable a recruiting tool is that? And why does the NCAA not deem it an impermissible benefit, except for the untidy fact that advancing the Duke brand also advances College Basketball Inc.'s brand?

Commerce, remember, drives all. And more exposure means more commerce for everyone.

And so don't read any of this as any particular criticism of Duke Inc., or of its CEO. Like Calipari, Krzyzewski is simply following the contours of the college basketball landscape in 2018. It's a business. And so Coach K is doing everything he can to make his particular piece of that business profitable.

Sis-boom-bah be hanged.