Hearts and ... stuff

Happy Make Hallmark Rich Day to all the Blobophiles out there (I see you both!), and here's hoping you love and are loved. It's a grand day, made for candy and flowers and gooshy poimes that rhyme and everything. And so, because the Blob excels at the latter especially, here are a few poimes for people who deserve them ...

* First up is Our Only Available President, who, having never met a terrible idea from 100 years ago he wouldn't re-purpose for 2018, has come up with the bright idea of replacing food stamps with the food boxes of yesteryear. What a touching Valentine's gift for America's most vulnerable! Because, you know, it's cheaper, and OOAP needs the money for billionaires and the military and a wall to keep all those scary brown people out!

Like the poime says:

Because all my rich pals
Cannot live without more
Here's a box of crap food
'Cause it's your fault you're poor

* Then there's the NCAA, which denied Notre Dame's appeal of a ruling to set aside 21 football victories, including all 12 in its undefeated 2012 regular season. Academic fraud was the reason. This was an interesting decision, considering the NCAA let North Carolina off scot-free for 20 years of academic fraud.  And so here's a big box of chocolate-covered dog turds for you, ND, and a thoughtful little rhyme besides:

Knute Rockne's a Knitwit
And the Gipper is, too
You're no Carolina
So we stuck it to you

* And, because the Blob is the home office for cynicism, here are a few lines about North and South Korea marching into the Olympic stadium under a unified flag, as if A) they are actually unified, and B) North Korea isn't continually threatening to turn the South into radioactive charcoal briquettes: 

Here come the Koreas
Marching in here as one
For two weeks, anyway
Then consensus is done

*  'Twas a heartwarming scene in Indianapolis this week, as the city welcomed the Colts new head coach, Frank Reich, with open arms. It took them two tries, but, hey, they got it right. Therefore:

It takes so darn little
To make Indy erupt
All Frank Reich had to do
Is decide to show up

* Last but not least, pitchers and catchers report today, which means baseball is back. This makes everyone as giddy as Valentine's Day does -- unless, like the Blob's, your baseball team is garbage. Not that I'm bitter or anything:

It's spring training in baseball
When future losses seem few
Unless you're in Pittsburgh
Where the cellar will do.