Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Your TV drama premise for today

And now we introduce a new Blob feature, Timeout For Weirdness, which will appear whenever something monumentally weird (as opposed to everyday weird) surfaces in the wide wide world of sports.

No, this isn't about Rex Ryan's obsession with his wife's feet.

This is about Kurt Busch and his former girlfriend, whom he claims is a trained assassin carrying out covert killings for the government.

Come on, now. You really think I could make that up?

 No, Kurt claims she came to him in a blood-spattered gown one night, after presumably bumping off some bad guy (I'm thinking she killed him with piano wire, but that's just a guess). He also claims a lot of other stuff -- take a minute to read the link -- that's designed to make you think she's a dangerous wacko, but somehow just makes you think Busch himself is a bubble or so off plumb.

I will say this: Having been in on numerous news conferences with Kurt, he sometimes does come off a little strange. But then, he makes his living driving in circles really fast surrounded by 42 other loons driving in circles really fast. So I suppose strange is a relative term.

I won't say the guy's a flat-out weirdo, but he does have a reputation for pulling stunts that are inexplicable even by the standards of a sport not notably overserved with completely sane people. You have to be a little crazy to do what these guys do, even if you're that nice Jeff Gordon boy. So there is that.

And what the heck, maybe Kurt's telling the truth. In which case this could make for one bang-up USA Network drama series.

She's a trained killer. He gets into feuds at 190 mph with Brad Keselowski. Craziness ensues in the new USA series "I Married A Guy Who Got His Ass Fired By Roger Penske." 

Set your DVRs now.

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