(In which the Blob again escapes Sportsball World in the dead of night, intent on joining the circus. And let's face it, it's all just a great big circus these days.)
I debated writing this.
I told myself that by writing what I'm about to write, I'd be doing exactly what the gremlins and warlocks of social media want me to do, which is dive down the rabbit holes I regularly lampoon. Don't do it, that still small voice of reason whispered. Don't go there, because you know as surely as sunrise that people will misconstrue and distort it. Misconstruing and distorting are the national pastime now, after all.
Suffice to say I didn't listen. And the reason I didn't listen is because misconstruing and distortion go right to the heart of this matter.
The matter being, what President Donald John "Look, A Squirrel!" Trump said the other day at a rally in Nebraska. And what he did not say.
He did not, for instance, say he wishes Iran would "take out" Los Angeles and San Diego. As some internet trolls insist he did.
What he said, rather, has been parsed to mean whatever the competing wings of our national divide wish it to mean, neither of which more than brushes up against the truth.
What Squirrel Boy did say, in its full context, is this:
"With the war it's just artificial, it's a little high, it's a small price to pay for keeping the world safe, keeping our country safe. They could take out a city!* Let 'em take out Los Angeles!* Let 'em take out San Diego!* It's a small price to pay."
(*Hysterical exclamation points mine).
The subject was gas prices. The message -- or so it seems to me having read the quote and watched the clip multiple times -- was hopelessly mangled on as usual by our Dotty Old Grandpa In Chief, so it looked as if he were saying turning L.A. and San Diego into charcoal briquettes would be a small price to pay for doing whatever it is we're trying to do to Iran. Let's face it, he's never had more than a nodding acquaintance with the English language, and now that creeping senility has set in he frequently seems to have abandoned it entirely.
And, yes, I know what's coming next. I know those on one side of the divide are going to say I'm making excuses for Der Fuhrer, that he did indeed mean to invite Iran to take out two American cities, and that anyone who believes otherwise is either an apologist or an enabler.
And on the other side?
They'll say how dare you call our Fearless Leader senile, to claim he's not in his right mind, to portray him as some mumbling ancient drooling in his soup.
Here's what I'll say to both of them: Whatever, dude.
Here's what I'll also say: Distortion is not the exclusive property of the left or the right -- although out-and-out lying does seem to have been cornered by the latter. The folks on the right outraged by the folks on the left twisting Fearless Leader's words, after all, are the same folks who regularly (and far more blatantly) twist the words of people they don't like.
Most of whom seem to be brown or Muslim these days. Or both.
In this case, however, I'll take the other side to task, because I expect it to be smarter than this. See, to me, by claiming their nemesis was doing anything more than lost-in-translation fear-mongering ("He's saying L.A. and San Diego should be destroyed!"), they provide him cover. They give him and his acolytes fuel for their false narratives ("See? The left always lies!"), and obscure the most troubling aspects of this whole episode.
Because the worst part about Squirrel Boy talking about the Iranians "taking out" American cities?
It indicates the President of the United States -- the President of the United States -- more and more inhabits a fantasy world these days. His obsession with Iran's imaginary nuclear capability, after all, directly refutes what he himself said a little over a year ago.
Which is that the United States had totally destroyed Iran's nuclear capability.
Yet now they're suddenly going to rain hellfire on L.A. and San Diego if we don't continue to do whatever the hell it is we're doing over there? Sure, Jan.
And as for characterizing high gas prices as some minor annoyance ...
Yet more evidence of the massive disconnect between Squirrel Boy's let-them-eat-cake Regime and the American people.
See, it's easy for Fearless Leader to brush off high gas prices when he never has to worry about buying gas, or balancing a checkbook, or robbing Peter to pay Paul. But for those who do have to worry about that, four-buck-a-gallon gas is a hell of a lot more than a temporary inconvenience.
Those are the real issues with Squirrel Boy's latest word salad. That, and one more thing:
When he said "Take out Los Angeles! Take out San Diego!" out there in Nebraska, the allegedly God-fearing Christian patriots in attendance cheered. Cheered. At the thought of two American cities and millions of their fellow Americans being incinerated.
And did the President of the United States wave his hand and say, "Hey, wait a minute, don't be cheering that, you asshats"?
No. No, he did not.
You want to be outraged about something?
Be outraged about that.
