Jerry, Jonesing it up

 Not long ago I asked someone I know is a Dallas Cowboys fan if he was counting the days until Jerry Jones finally departs this earthly realm, and then I felt bad because I left the Cowboys fan with no real answer except, "Yes, I wish the old buzzard would kick the bucket already and free my Cowboys from captivity."

This would make the aforementioned Cowboys fan sound heartless and cruel. Which he's not.

Anyway, I thought about that again yesterday when the news broke that Jerry had once more screwed up. This time the screw-up was a royal one, even for Jerry: He got into a totally unnecessary pissing match with his best player, edge rusher and general disruptor Micah Parsons, who was up for a contract reboot. The situation eroded to the point where Parsons simply stopped coming to practice, with Jerry all the while reassuring us the contract talks were going fine, just fine.

They weren't, of course. And that was mainly on Jerry, who could have ended the drama at any time simply by paying the man. But he didn't, and the situation further eroded, and yesterday the Cowboys traded Parsons to the Green Bay Packers for some colored beads and a box of Cracker Jacks.

OK, so that's not true. They traded him for some guys. OK, so, one guy -- Pro Bowl defensive tackle Kenny Clark -- and a couple of first-round draft picks.

This sounds like a fairly equitable deal until you consider Parsons is a four-time Pro Bowler himself, and maybe the best defensive player in the league. He is, for want of a better cliche, a game-changer. 

Now he's with ancient nemesis Green Bay, and somewhere in the great beyond Lombardi and Nitschke and a bunch of other Packers are laughing at Landry and Dandy Don and a bunch of other Cowboys. Beat you again, schmuck-o's. Neener, neener, neener. 

In the meantime, here is Jerry, still with us and Jones-ing it up again. And here are his Cowboys, now three decades removed from their last Super Bowl appearance. All of those Supe-less years have come with Jerry running the show as his own de facto GM.

Will this latest blunder cause Jerry to finally see the light and hire an actual GM?

Of course it won't. Longhorn steer will land on Mars first.

Sorry, Cowboys fans. And I really mean that.