And now a Thanksgiving week edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the grateful Blob feature of which critics have said "I'd be grateful if you'd shut up already", and also "I'd be grateful for a rocket we could load this into and shoot it into the sun":
1. "Hey, look! We won a game! Thank you, football gods!" (Cowboys fans)
2. "Let's see 'em keep us out of the Super Bowl NOW!" (Also Cowboys fans)
3. It's Tuesday morning and Saquon Barkley just ran off tackle for another 23 yards against the Rams.
4. "OK, you can stop now!" (The Rams, gashed by Barkley for 255 yards in a 37-20 loss to Barkley's Eagles)
5. "'Preciate it!" (Also the Rams, after Barkley said, "Oh, wait, it's Tuesday" and finally stopped)
6. "Thank you, football gods!" (Daniel Jones, who no longer is a quarterback for the sorry 2-9 Giants, who were embarrassed 30-7 at home by the Buccaneers)
7. (Also Gardner Minshew, who broke his collarbone in a 29-19 loss to Denver and now no longer has to quarterback the sorry 2-9 Raiders)
8. Meanwhile, the Browns!
9. Are thankful for snow, lovely snow, 'cause without it they never would have beaten the Steelers, on account of the Browns are sorry and the Steelers are not.*
10. (*According to Steelers wide receiver George Pickens, anyway)
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