And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the perpetually irritating Blob feature of which critics have said "Damn, it's so irritating!", and also "Gaaah! I can't stop ITCHING!":
1. "Yay! The Steelers AND the Colts on Monday Night Football ..." (America)
2. "... sucks just as hard as we thought it would!" (Also America)
3. "Is this game ever gonna START?" (America at halftime)
4. "Whatta you mean? Matt Ryan already has a Matt Ryan hat trick -- a fumble, an interception and a sack!" (Colts fans)
5. Meanwhile, in New York, the Chicago Bears lose 31-10 to the awful Jets as a beat-up Justin Fields doesn't play.
6. Instead, a less beat-up Trevor Siemian plays after the Bears initially consider playing backup-backup QB Nathan Peterman.
7. "What? Nathan Peterman's still in the league??" (America)
8. "YES I'M STILL HERE BITCHES! DEAL WITH IT!" (Nathan Peterman)
9. Back in Indy, it's now Tuesday morning.
10. And the Colts finally made a first down.
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