Olympian questions

Hanging out in my neighborhood hang yesterday, watching Sam Darnold and Super Bowl MVP Kenneth Walker III tour Disneyland (and wondering if either has slept since Sunday night). And there on one of the TVs over the bar, a couple of young people were ice dancing.

I immediately wondered if it was Tai and Randy.

(As in "Babilonia and Gardner", America's figure skating sweethearts about a thousand years ago).

I was subsequently informed by someone more knowledgeable about these matters that Tai and Randy were pairs skaters, not ice dancers. Torvill and Dean were the latter.

"Who can tell?" I asked.

Because I can't. It all looks like a man and a woman skating around lifting one another off the ice to me.

Anyway, this is just one question I have so far about the Winter Games in Milan/Cortina, which I'm just now catching up with after the tsunami of self-congratulatory hype surrounding the Super Bowl. Some of the other questions are:

* You mean there's pairs curling, too?

There is. And the U.S. pair, Korey Dropkin and Cory Thiesse, have curled their way into the final. They beat Italy 9-8 in the semis and will now face Sweden for the gold medal.

Not even Tai and Randy did that.

* Was Lindsey Vonn insane to try skiing the downhill nine days after tearing her ACL?

Maybe. Probably. OK, so highly likely, considering she crashed mere seconds into her first competitive run and broke her left leg all to hell -- the same leg with the torn ACL.

Vonn says she hooked a gate with her right arm and that's what caused her to crash, not the torn ACL. She suffered a complex fracture of the tibia she admitted will require "multiple" surgeries to repair. Which means her career is likely done, considering she's also 41 years old.

"Knowing I stood there having a chance to win was a victory in and of itself," she wrote in an Instagram post, adding that she had no regrets. "I also know that racing was a risk. It always was and always will be an incredibly dangerous sport."

Which is true.

Which is also why, yes, she's insane, but no more insane than anyone else who thinks it's a good idea to go flying down a mountain at 70 mph on two slats of aluminum siding. They're all seriously loco, these folks.

* Despite that, is "Breezy" not the perfect name for someone who wound up winning the women's downhill?

Yes. Yes it is. Breezy Johnson is her full name, and she took the gold for the U.S. So take that, all you other crazy downhillers with not-nearly-as-cool names.

* Is the U.S. women's hockey team still kicking butt?

'Tis. The women shut out Switzerland 5-0 yesterday and are 3-0 in the tournament so far. They face their nemesis Canada today, so buckle up.

*  Does the young American skating phenom, Illia Malinin, sort of remind you of King Joffrey Baratheon from "Game of Thrones" (as a friend suggested the other day)?

Aw, you bet. Except Malinin, by all accounts, is not a giant gaping orifice like Joffrey. That little jerk had it coming for sure.

And last but not least ...

* What's the medal count so far? Is Norway leading like usual?

Not yet. The Norwegians are third with six total medals, half of them gold. The host country, Italy, leads the way with nine medals, six of them bronze. Japan is second with seven medals, and behind Norway are the usual suspects: Switzerland, Germany and Austria.

"Where is the U.S., Mr. Blob?" you're saying now.

The U.S. is tied for seventh with seven other countries, among them more usual suspects. They have two medals so far, both of them gold.

"Does this mean Tai and Randy won?" you're asking.

Enough. Enough with the Tai and Randy bit.