And now a special day-before-the-day-before Christmas edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the holly-jolly Blob feature of which critics have said, "Bah (expletive deleted)", and also "You ain't gonna be so jolly when I put my foot up your holly":
1. And what to my wondering eyes should appear ...
2. ... but old Philip Rivers (23-of-35, 277 yards, two touchdowns and a 97.0 rating against the 49ers) still alive and quite well.
3. "Although not as alive and quite well as me!" (49ers quarterback Brock Purdy, who decked the halls with boughs of Colts defensive backs, throwing five touchdown passes in the Niners' 48-27 rout)
4. Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that ...
5. "Oh, sure! Rub it in why doncha!" (The Chiefs, who lost Patrick Mahomes to an ACL tear, then lost Gardner Minshew to an ACL tear, and wound up playing the immortal Some Guy at quarterback in a dispiriting 28-9 loss to the sorry Tennessee Titans)
6. Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays ...
7. "Bite me." (The Broncos, the Ravens, the Cowboys, the Browns, the Dolphins and the Lions, who got beat at home by the Jaguars, the Patriots, the Chargers, the Bills, the Bengals and the Steelers)
8. God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay ...
9. "We won't!" (The Jags, the Pats, the Bolts, the Texans, the Niners, the Bears, the Seahawks, who just keep winning to the dismay of their victims)
10. "Hey, what about us? We've been resting all season! Ain't too merry about it, though." (The Giants, the Jets, the Cardinals, the Raiders and the Browns, who lost again because ... well, because it's what they do)
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