And now this week's edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the redemptive, not-dead-yet Blob feature of which critics have said, "From the smell, I thought this thing died weeks ago," and also, "How 'bout I redeem your face for a six-pack of Natty Light?":
1. "Old? Old? I'll show you old, ya whippersnappers!" (Philip Rivers, Aaron Rodgers)
2. "And I'm not either weird!" (Also Aaron Rodgers, after his Steelers whupped the formerly resurgent Dolphins)
3. "Dead? Dead? Ha! We're not dead! We were just feelin' sickly for awhile!" (The Bills, after taking down the division-leading Patriots in Foxboro to remain not dead, or maybe even not sickly, for another week)
4. "Hey, look over here! We're not dead, either!" (The Vikings, after beating the Cowboys in Dallas as J.J. McCarthy, who previously sucked, threw for 250 yards and two touchdowns)
5. "Hey! What's this 'previously sucked' crap? I do not either suck!" (J.J. McCarthy)
6. "Neither do I!" (Jalen Hurts, who, a week after throwing four picks in a loss to the Chargers, threw for three touchdowns as the Eagles washed the Raiders 31-0)
7. "Neither do-- oh, wait" (Shedeur Sanders, who, a week after throwing for 364 yards and three scores in the Cleveland Browns' 31-29 loss to the Titans, threw three picks, was sacked five times and put up a subterranean 30.3 passer rating in the Browns' 31-3 loss to the Bears)
8. In other news, the Rams outscored the Lions, Detroit's third loss in its last five games; the Buccaneers went down to the Falcons -- the Falcons! -- the Bucs' fifth loss in their last six games; and the Commanders -- the Commanders! -- beat the Giants to snap an eight-game losing streak.
9. "Yeah, but it was only us." (The Giants)
10. "We're not dead ye- OK, so maybe we are." (The Lions and Buccaneers)
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