Apocalypse unbound

 Giant globe-rending news out of Ohio this week, and as so often is the case, you could fit it into one quiet sentence. In this instance, one quiet sentence in the Dayton Daily News:

Ohio High School Athletic Association member schools officially approved the NIL language proposed by the organization ...

One sentence. Sixteen words. Aaaand here ... we ... go, as the Joker would say.

Name, Image and Likeness comes to high school.  Filtering down from the colleges, as all things eventually seem to.

First reaction: Welcome to the apocalypse.

Second reaction: Wish I'd been born later. Like, a lot later.

See, I, too, was a high school athlete (kinda, and just for a year), which means I could have tapped into some of that sweet NIL loot. Unfortunately, right on the heels of that I remember two things:

1. I was not a football or basketball player. I was only a lowly cross country/distance runner.

2. And I really sucked.

3. I mean, really sucked.

OK, so that's three things. But you get the point.

In any case, the floodgates are open over in Ohio, and, no, I don't know exactly how that's going to work. I'm sure a whole set of guidelines (guardrails?) are in the OHSAA proposal, because surely those folks are not as mutton-headed as the folks at the NCAA -- whose NIL guidelines were essentially "Ah, hell, do what you want."

I'm sure that won't be the case in Ohio. Although four decades as a Sportsball journalist have taught me never to assume anything.

In the meantime, being a human being of the codger persuasion, I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea of some local high school wideout popping up on my TV screen saying "When I need a cool-down after practice, I head for Zesto." Or some 3-ball prodigy who can't drive yet telling me about the sweet ride that could be mine if I'd only visit, say, Glenbrook Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram, Don Ayres Honda or Land Rover Fort Wayne.

Don't think it won't happen. If Ohio's approved it, Indiana can't be far behind.

All it will take is losing a lawsuit, which is what happened to our next-door neighbors. After that, Ohio really had no choice, as OHSAA Executive Director Doug Ute explained.

"Whether our schools or individuals agree with NIL at the high school level or not," Ute said in a statement, "the courts have spoken on this issue across the country that the NCAA and high school athletic associations cannot prevent a student-athlete from making money on their NIL."

In other words, the genie is out of the bottle, and there's no putting him back. And all I can say about that is, I'm glad I'm not a high school coach right now.

His or her task has always been as much about helping kids that age to grow and mature as it is teaching, say, the mysteries of the 1-3-1 zone. Now imagine trying to teach those mysteries to a16-year-old point guard who's pulling down coin from some area business and/or collective.

No potential for exploitation there, no, sirree. Or for warping a young person's still-developing sense of self -- which is already prone to the warping influence of friends, family and delusional parents who think their Johnny or Janey is WAY better than that lame-o who's starting at Johnny/Janey's position.

That's choppy enough waters for a coach to negotiate. Now he's gonna have to deal with kids whose egos have been pumped all out of round because they're getting paid for their exploits on the field or court?

QB1: Hey, Coach, any chance you could put in some more designed runs to showcase my skills? Myrtle's Chowdown Diner ain't payin' me to hand the ball off, ya know.

RB1: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Joe Fraudtana. You want to cut into MY carries? No way, Jose. I drop 200 yards and three sixes on those punks from Hog Wallow High this week, I get a nice little bump from Myrna's Biscuits-R-Us. You're messin' with my bottom line, dude.

QB1: Who cares about your deal?

RB1: Yeah, well, who cares about yours?

Nightmare City. The only enjoyment the Blob gets out of it is imagining how some of the superb high school coaches I was lucky enough to cover over the years would have handled this brave new world.

Phil Buck, for instance, the old Anderson Madison Heights basketball legend. Russ Isaacs or Chris Svarczkopf or Matt Lindsay or Rick Minnich or any of a truckload of old-school football warriors. 

I figure if they'd had to deal with QB1 and RB1 squabbling over money, two things would happen:

1. QB1 and RB1 would no longer be QB1 and RB1.

2. QB1 and RB1 would then transfer.

Me?

I hear Hog Wallow High's mighty nice.