And now this week's Thanksgiving edition of The NFL In So Many Words, the thankful Blob feature of which critics have said "I'm thankful this is Week 12 and not Week 1," and also "I'm thankful this is Week 12 because I've still got five more weeks to punch you in the face":
1. "What are we thankful for? We're thankful we got Brock Purdy bac- Oh, crap!" (The 49ers, after Purdy threw three picks against the Panthers)
2. "OK, so we're thankful it was only the Panthers, then." (Also the 49ers, after the Panthers only generated a field goal from those three picks in the Niners' 20-9 win)
3. "Up yours, haters!" (Shedeur Sanders, who quarterbacked the Browns to a win over the Raiders in his first career start, and looked way better doing it than he did a week ago in his relief stint)
4. "I mean, I'm thankful it was only the Raiders." (Also Shedeur, probably)
5. In other news, the Seahawks beat the woeful Titans; the Ravens beat the crudbucket Jets; the Lions survived the sorry-ass Giants; and the Falcons -- the Falcons! -- beat the landfill-enriched Saints to snap a five-game skid.
6. "We're thankful for the Titans, the Jets, the Giants and the Saints." (The Seahawks, the Ravens, the Lions and the Falcons)
7. "Yeah, but we almost won! And in Detroit, too!" (The Giants)
8. "We're thankful a football game only lasts four quarters, or who knows how many points in a row we'd have given up to -- I can't believe I'm saying this -- the Cowboys." (The Eagles, after giving up 24 straight points to blow a 21-0 lead and lose to Dak Prescott and the 'Boys)
9. "Gah! Time to get blackout drunk and throw snowballs at Santa again!" (Eagles fans)
10. "Gee, we sure are thankful we traded away Sam Darnold for THIS GUY." (Vikings fans, sarcastically, after J.J. McCarthy threw two more picks and put up a passer rating of 34.2 in a 23-6 loss to Green Bay)
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