Fading bloom

 The headline has been parked in the nether reaches of my brain for a couple of weeks now, or since it became apparent Bill Belichick was just another guy struggling to deal with college kids. It awaits the day the University of North Carolina finally realizes, "Damn, Bill Belichick is just another guy struggling to deal with college kids," and picks up his buyout.

On that day, the Blob's aforementioned headline would be this: "Beli-Chucked!"

Yeah, I know. You were expecting something better.

("From YOU?" you're saying now)

Anyway, that day may or may not be imminent, depending on whether you believe the always-reliable rumor mill or the equally always-reliable Official Statement. The former claims the University and Belichick are already negotiating a lower buyout, five games into Belichick's ballyhooed tenure; the latter says, nah, that's not true at all, Coach Bill still has the school's "full support."

What we know for sure is the Belichick Era in Chapel Hill is off to an underwhelming 2-3 start in which the two victories came against Charlotte and Richmond. The Tar Heels' three Power Four opponents, meanwhile, have crushed them by a combined score of 120-33.

That includes last week's 38-10 erasure by Dabo Swinney's struggling Clemson Tigers, in which the Clemsons scored on two of their first four offensive snaps and led 28-3 after quarter. And it includes the opening game of the Belichick Era, when Beli-Fever had the campus in a tizzy until TCU parachuted into all that Carolina blue and paved Belichick's boys like a county highway, 48-14.

It was just about then a thought bubble appeared over Belichick's head. It said, "Dammit, they all told me I was a genius."

OK. So I'm making that up.

What I'm not making up is the fact the bloom, if not entirely off the rose, is fading fast. The rumor mill (remember: always reliable) says a planned documentary about Belichick's first season as a college coach is now on the scrap heap, and there's growing discontent with Coach B in the locker room. Meanwhile, The Athletic reports cornerbacks coach Armond Hawkins has been suspended for recruiting violations.

Which in the anything-goes landscape of 2025 must take some doing.

So, yeah, matters seem to be getting perilously close to the dreaded term "disarray." And thus the sentiment grows that perhaps Belichick, at 72, is clueless about the college game and should have just stayed on the coaching Mount Rushmore -- where, if nothing else, the view is better.

(The sentiment also grows that it mainly was Tom Brady who put Belichick on that promontory. This owes to the fact that Belichick, at New England and now North Carolina, has a decidedly beige 31-41 record post-Tom. On the other hand, it ignores the fact he was astute enough to recognize a sixth-round pick who'd started all of one season in college had the potential to be something better -- like, for instance, the greatest quarterback ever to play the game.)

Now, where were we?

Oh, yeah. Belichick. North Carolina. Down from the mountain, as it were.

Shoulda stayed up there, Bill. You really should have.