And just when you thought the Blob was going to stop torturing you with tales of my Pittsburgh Cruds, on account of they're not nearly as Cruddy these days as the Colorado Rockheads, Chicago What Sox or, heck, even the Miami Merlins ...
How 'bout my alma-hardly-matters, the Ball State Cardinals/Cruds 2.0?
("Not another one!" you're saying now)
("Please, no one cares about stupid Ball State!" you're saying)
("I mean, it's in Muncie, for God's sake!" you're saying)
Well, TOO BAD. Imma gonna talk about my Cardinals/Cruds 2.0 anyway.
They have, after all, achieved some national pub this week, after that splendid 31-0 rollover against, geez, Purdue last weekend. It was Geez, Purdue's first win since shutting out Indiana State 49-0 in last season's opener, and their first FBS win since beating Indiana in the Old Oaken Bucket Game on Thanksgiving weekend of 2023.
All of which, I noticed, landed my Cruds 2.0 at No. 8 on ESPN's satirical Bottom Ten list this week. Yes, sir, there they are -- Baller State, just behind No. 7 the FA(not I)U Owls and the Charlotte 0-and-1ers.
The good news?
The Cruds 2.0 have an excellent shot at moving up in the rankings this week, because they follow up their trip to Ross-Ade Stadium with a trip to Jordan-Hare Stadium at Auburn. Frying pan, meet fire.
Of course, the Ball State athletic department will get to add $2.5 million to its bank account thanks to these voluntary human sacrifices, guarantee games being what they are. And at least my Cruds 2.0 aren't skeered of the big boys like those pansies down in Bloomington, who opened the season against Old Dominion and now must prepare for the mighty Owls of Kennesaw State.
Who, I notice, are an honorable mention (as Kennesaw Mountain Landis State) in this week's Bottom Ten.
Lose on, you Owls!
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