Sometimes I think NFL commissioner Roger Goodell imagines himself as Sir Roger of Goodell, prancing around his palatial estate in jodhpurs and a red hunting jacket while waving a riding crop and shouting "Tally ho!"
Which is to say, the Ravens and Titans played another league game in London yesterday, this time in the home stadium of English soccer mainstay Tottenham Hotspur.
It was the third straight week an NFL game has been played in London.
And now come reports that Goodell and Co. are mulling the notion of someday playing a Super Bowl there.
Let me be probably not the first person to say "Jolly bad."
In American this translates to "Aw, HELL, no," and that's not just the Blob lapsing into a spasm of provincial Ugly American-ism. It's the Blob honestly wondering what Goodell's fascination is with the mother country, and why he thinks American football would ever be more there than just a pleasant diversion from Real Football, aka English Premier League soccer.
Things you are not likely ever to hear in Manchester, England: "Nah, I don't think I'll go watch City vs. United this Sunday. I'm gonna stay home and watch the Indianapolis Colts on the telly. I hear this Gardner Minshew chap is extraordinary!"
Yeaaaah, not happenin'. I mean, doesn't anyone remember the World League of American Football, a mostly failed 10-year experiment not just in England but also in Spain, Scotland, the Netherlands and Germany? Have we forgotten the immortal Rhein Fire so quickly?
A Super Bowl in London. Really?
Great, let's haul that whole circus overseas for the benefit of a demographic that, let's face it, is never going to embrace American football as fervently as the league's true fan base on this side of the pond. But, sure, let's screw them, all those crazy dudes jumping shirtless onto card tables in the middle of the weekly Buffalo blizzard.
Congratulations fans of (your team name here)! You always wanted to go to the Super Bowl, and now your team is FINALLY in it! It'll cost you an arm and a leg, but it's a bucket list deal! So pay up!
Oh, and one other thing: We're playing the big game in London this year! Won't that be cool? Your team in the Super Bowl, plus London Bridge, Big Ben, all that historical s***! I guess that means you'll pony up the other arm and leg, too, amiright?
Oh, yeah. TERRIFIC idea.
Now, the inclination here is to say it'll never happen, but if there's one thing we should have all learned by now it's to never say never. Four years after fans recoiled at the thought of a dirtbag New York real estate crook driving the pace car for the Indianapolis 500, we elected him President of the United States. Compared to that, what's the championship of the premier U.S. sports league being played six hours away from the U.S.?
Which means kickoff would happen sometime around 12:30 in the morning London time, if the NFL wanted to catch the prime-time audience in the U.S. Or you kick it off at 6:30 p.m. London time, which means it kicks at 12:30 p.m. Eastern time in the U.S. and the network that paid the GDP of Brazil for the rights loses its prime-time advertising rates.
Anyway ... it's a spectacularly cementheaded notion for any number of reasons. Which is why I suspect the league purposely leaked it as a trial balloon just to gauge the reaction.
I trust the reaction came through loud and clear, and not just from this precinct. Fingers crossed.
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