Those games: Some thoughts

 OK, class. So what did we learn from yesterday's NFL conference championship games, which will give us the Eagles against the Chiefs in a couple weeks?

Let me write it on the board for you:

1. You can't win a great big honkin' football game without a quarterback. As Rocky J. Squirrel is fond of saying, "That trick never works."

2. You can, however, win a great big honkin' football game if your quarterback is playing on one leg, or a leg-and-a-half, or some other fraction of two legs. But only if your quarterback is named Patrick Mahomes, and he's got cojones the size of beer kegs.

3. You also can come thisclose to ruining an amazing game (speaking of the aforementioned) if you're an NFL officiating crew that couldn't find its hindparts with a  nationwide hindparts hunt.

4.  That said, when you hit a guy two or three steps out of bounds they're gonna throw a flag on you every damn time. So, you know, don't do that.

5. That also said, if you didn't feel something watching the poor kid who hit Mahomes out of bounds sobbing on the bench  -- Joseph Ossai is his name, and he's only 22 -- you might want to check your heart. 'Cause you don't have one.

In any event, it's the Eagles and the Chiefs in two weeks in whichever Super Bowl this is. And you've gotta like the Eagles even though they just beat a 49ers team that was fresh out of quarterbacks the whole second half.

No disrespect to the Iggles, but how hard is it to crush someone 31-7 when that someone loses its quarterback (Brock Purdy) to an elbow injury in the first half ... and then loses its only remaining quarterback (Josh Johnson) ... and then has to bring back the injured-elbow guy even though he can't throw?

Answer: Not very hard. All you gotta do is stop the run because there ain't no pass.

And over in the AFC?

The Blob got that one wrong just like a lot of America, although it did say you never want to turn your back on Mahomes. Yes, the officiating was horrible, and a lot of crucial calls went against the Bengals (although most were correct). But Mahomes was Mahomes -- which is to say, sublime.

First off, he was throwing mostly to backup and backup-backup receivers. And he was making throws he shouldn't have been able to make with limited push off the injured leg. And then, at the end, he sprinted eight yards for the first down that set up the winning field goal.

Trying sprinting with a high ankle sprain sometime. Tell me how it goes.

In the end, Mahomes threw the football 43 times, completing 29 for 315 yards and two scores. He had to, because it was the only way the Chiefs were going to beat Joe Burrow and the Bengals, who never took their foot off the gas, either. 

So, again: Never turn your back on the guy. And especially don't run your mouths all week about "Burrowhead" Stadium, or have the mayor of your city go on camera to talk junk about how Burrow was Mahomes' daddy because Burrow was 3-0 against him.

'Twasn't smart, Mr. Mayor. Just gave Mahomes an opening to go all legendary on your Bengals, and he took it.

All the way to Glendale, Ariz., and Super Bowl Whatever.