(New Year's) Day trippin'

 So you're telling me yesterday was New Year's Day, but where's your evidence, smart guy? Because I think today is New Year's Day.

I mean, I'll turn on my TV this morning, and what'll I see?

The Tournament of Roses parade, BUDDY.

And later on?

The Cotton Bowl. The Vrbo Missing A Vowel Citrus Bowl (with Your Purdue Boilermakers!). The Rose Bowl (with the San Gabriel Mountains!).

Also, the Blob's now-favorite New Year's Day tradition, the NHL Winter Classic, will be coming to us from Fenway Park. The Boston Bruins will do battle with the Pittsburgh Penguins, everyone will wear toques and such, it'll be loads of fun.

So go ahead, smart guy. Tell me this ain't New Year's Day.

(Smart guy points at calendar that says January 2)

Yeah, OK, so you got me there. But if all the stuff that usually happens on January 1 happens on January 2, doesn't that make January 2 New Year's Day?

It does where the Blob lives.

Yesterday?

That was just Sunday. 

Same old NFL (Ooh, look, the Colts and Bears are flinging poo at the game again!). No President's Trophy floats. No Tulane vs. USC in the Cotton Bowl; no Utah vs. Penn State in the Rose Bowl; no Patrice Bergeron skating where the Red Sox  kicked around double-play balls all summer.

Sunday.

Yeah, it was January 1, but it wasn't New Year's Day. It was some sort of ripple in the celestial stream, a pause in the linear march of time. Twenty-four hours passed, but they didn't count. At midnight, the great timepiece of the universe reset.

I mean, if we can Spring Forward and Fall Back every year, who's to say it's not possible?

Not me. I'll be watching outdoor hockey instead. Or wondering how a second-rate bowl like the Missing A Vowel Bowl managed to sneak into New Year's Day. Or wondering why they played the Orange Bowl on December 30 and the Sugar Bowl on New Year's Eve.

Oh, right. Because even on Really New Year's Day, ESPN had to clear air time for their precious NFL Monday Night Football -- as if anyone still cares after 17 numbing weeks, especially when the competing teams (the Bills and the Bengals) have already locked up their respective division titles.

Ah, well. You can't have everything, I guess.

Not even on New Year's Day.