Burial plots

 Sometimes the gods of satire serve it up on a shining silver platter. One should therefore be immediately suspicious, even if one is not already immediately suspicious of most of the world these days.

This is why the Blob has shied away from the whole Trump-Buries-His-Ex-Wife-On-His Golf-Course deal. It just seemed too good to be true.

It does, however, seem to be true after all: Ivana Trump, who died a couple of weeks ago, is buried somewhere on the grounds of Trump's Bedminster, N.J., course, which last weekend played host to the greedheads from the Saudi Butchers Tour, aka the LIV Tour. All the usual Trumpian suspects were there, including Fredo Trump (aka, Donald Jr.) and chief propagandist Tucker Carlson. 

Plus, of course, a whole lot of folks who worship money and and those who have it, and who don't particularly care what sort of gangsters they are.

(Requisite whataboutism: "But what about the NBA and China?" Requisite answer: "China didn't knock down our buildings and kill 3,000 American on 9/11.")

In any event, Trump -- aka, TFG; aka Training Wheels Mussolini -- apparently did have Ivana buried somewhere on the Bedminster course grounds. He did this, apparently, as a tax dodge, because, well, he's Trump. He's made a career out of spelunking various caverns in the tax law; it was reported in 2019, for instance, that he brought goats to the Bedminster course so he could declare it a farm and save a reported $90,000 in taxes.

Now, tax-law experts say he may not be able to pull off his latest scam. The Trump oligarchy does have interest in a cemetery company, but it's 40 miles away from Bedminster. So we shall see.

In the meantime, what are you thinking right now if you're Melania, Trump's third and current wife? And how irresistible is it to imagine some future conversation between the two?

Donald J. Trump: You're gonna love it, hon. I've got a nice little spot along the second fairway that's PERFECT for you. Lots of shade, water, and, look, there's even a couple of bunkers full of sand! 'Cause I know how much you love the beach.

Melania:

Trump: Oh, come on! What's the big deal? I'll even write into the ground rules that anyone who hits your plot gets a free drop! What could be more respectful?

Melania:

Trump: OK. OK. So, how about if I put in my will that when I die, I'll be buried alongside you? You can't say it's humiliating if I'm lyin' right there next to you, right? Plus I can put in there that anyone who hits MY plot gets hauled off and charged with defiling the gravesite of a U.S. president.

I could even throw in a conspiracy charge, 'cause I KNOW anyone who hits my plot did it on purpose. It's probably right there on Hunter Biden's laptop or in Hillary's emails, or in the satchels full of ballots those black election officials in Atlanta disappeared, because THEY WANTED BIDEN TO WIN AND THERE'S NO WAY I LOST TO THAT DODDERING OLD FOOL! NO WAY, G--DAMMIT!!

(Looks around)

Melania? Hon?

Hey, where'd she go?